Statler: That was wonderful!
Waldorf: Bravo!
S: I loved it!
W: That was great!
S: Well, it was pretty good.
W: Well, It wasn’t bad.
S: There were parts that weren’t pretty good, though.
W: It could’ve been a lot better.
S: I didn’t really like it.
W: It was pretty terrible.
S: It was bad.
W: It was awful!
S & W: Boo! Boo!

Statler: Boo!
Waldorf: Boooo!
S: That was the worst thing I’ve ever heard!
W: It was terrible!
S: Horrendous!
W: Well it wasn’t that bad.
S: Oh, yeah?
W: Well, there were parts of it I liked!
S: Well, I liked a lot of it.
W: Yeah, it was GOOD actually.
S: It was great!
W: It was wonderful!
S: Yeah, bravo!
W: More!
S: More!
W: More!
S: More!

Statler: Brilliant!
Waldorf: Ah, it was terrible.
S: Well, it was good.
W: Ah, it was very bad.
S: Well, it was average.
W: Ah, it was in the middle there.
S: Ah, it wasn’t that great.
W: I kind of liked it.
S: It was terrible!
W: I loved it!
S: Get ’em off!
W: MORE!

Statler: They aren’t half bad.
Waldorf: Nope, they’re ALL bad!

Statler: What’s all the commotion about?
Waldorf: The bunny ran away!
Statler: Well, you know what that makes him –
S & W: Smarter than us!

Statler: Well, that was different.
Waldorf: Yep. Lousy…
Both: …but different!

Statler: The question is, what is a Mahna Mahna?
Waldorf: The question is, who cares?

Waldorf: Bravo, bravo!
Statler: Why are you yelling bravo? Did you like it that much?
Waldorf: Nope; friend of mine, Joe Bravo, he’s sitting in the front row. Bravo!

Statler: (after putting on his 3-D glasses) Hey, hey look! Look at the guy in the Goofy mask!
Waldorf: That’s not a mask.
Statler: Oh, sorry lady!

Waldorf: Hey look, an orchestra of penguins!
Statler: Yeah, probably took the job for the halibut!

Statler: This is a very moving moment.
Waldorf: Yeah; I wish they’d move it to Pittsburgh!

Waldorf: I wish Gene Kelly would teach me to Charleston.
Statler: I wish Gene Kelly would DRIVE you to Charleston!

Statler: Wake up you old fool. You slept through the show.
Waldorf: Who’s a fool? You watched it.

Statler: I like the steel Drums!
Waldorf: What?!?
Statler: THE PIGS’ STEEL DRUMS!!!
Waldorf: I believe it! They’ll take anything that isn’t bolted down!

Statler: There’ve been wars started over less then that
Waldorf: You’re wrong. Nothing’s less then that.

Waldorf: You know, the second half of this show reminds me of Aspen.
Statler: Why Aspen?
Waldorf: Cause it’s all downhill from here!

Waldorf: I didn’t know pigs could do that!
Statler: Be that talented?
Waldorf: No, be that bad!

Statler: Gonzo should quit while he’s ahead
Waldorf: Gonzo should quit while he’s alive!

Statler: That Johnny Depp is everywhere! What’s he got that I haven’t, besides youth, good looks, virility, fame, wealth…
Waldorf: …functioning kidney, gallbladder, hip…
Statler: Alright! Alright! Alright!