Kyle Lafferty has revealed he is addicted to gambling as he lifted the lid on his demons.
In a searingly-honest interview with the BBC, the Hearts striker opened up on his fierce gambling habit that forced him to seek help after an FA charge.
Lafferty signed for the Tynecastle side in the summer after being released by Norwich City and he has paid tribute to leading figures at Hearts who have helped him with his problems.
The Northern Ireland forward was found guilty by the FA and fined £23,000. He said: "The punishment could have been a lot worse. I was so honest they probably went easy on me.
"It was leading up to the Euros and I had all sorts going through my head, thinking I was going to be banned, but I'd have had no-one to blame but myself had that happened. I put my career on the line.
"The FA helped me. I spoke to the Sporting Chance clinic and I was seeing a guy in London every one or two weeks for an hour-long meeting about my gambling.
"That was the cowardly way of doing it. You can speak to one guy and fill him full of crap. You can just show face and give the impression that you're looking for help and then half-an-hour later you're probably in a bookies on the way home.
"Now I'm ready to say I've got an addiction to gambling."
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It wasn’t just the FA who helped Lafferty. The 30-year-old found support in Austin MacPhee, his coach at Northern Ireland and now Hearts.
Lafferty said: "Vanessa (his wife) will tell you I don't like talking. I don't know what it is. I like keeping everything to myself, but the time has come now.
"This is the last thing Hearts wanted: another problem. I spoke to Austin after training a while ago. I told him how it's been, how much I've lost.
"I needed to speak to somebody and I knew I could trust him. His wife must have thought we were having an affair he spoke to me that much. Hearts have been incredible.
"I feel lucky to be at Hearts with so many supportive people around me. Austin, Craig Levein, Ann Budge - what they've done for me makes me feel stronger this time," he says.
"Michael O'Neill has been brilliant as well. It's funny, I used to hate playing at Tynecastle when I was with Rangers. The fans were on top of you and there was so many of them.
"I'm glad we're on the same side now. I want to show them that I'm not here to take the p*ss, I'm here to sort my career and my life out. If I don't go to meetings I know Austin will be on the phone and Craig will probably slap me across the head. I've got to sort this out.
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"I know I'm going to take all sorts of grief off fans of other clubs. It's a big thing to do what I'm doing.
"I know Hearts fans and my team-mates will be behind me, though. I'm not talking about this because I'm looking for sympathy.
"I could have got help in private and nobody would have known about it. I want to do it publicly because I want to be honest and if there are any other footballers who are addicted to gambling, then maybe me speaking about my battle might help them."
Lafferty pulled back the curtain of how gambling took a grip on his life at Rangers, where he played for four years from 2008.
He said: "About halfway through my contract with Rangers I didn't have anything better to do after training than go to the bookies or sit online," he says.
"Betting on football had been banned and, if anything, things got worse. I'd bet on horses instead. I knew absolutely nothing about horses. I still don't have a clue. I open the app on my phone and go by the colour of the jersey or the name. If it's a winner, it's a winner; if it's not, it's not, and I move on to the next one.
"It was every day on the horses and every single race. I was betting on anything; horses, dogs, virtual racing, roulette.
"I've been lucky enough to have a lot of team-mates who have looked out for me and tried to help me and to this day they're still trying to help me. I might listen to them for two or three hours.
"There's been times when I've lost big. I don't want to go into figures, but I've lost on the roulette and then I'd be so close to getting it all back. I might be a grand or two from getting it back and I'd keep on going.
"I'd be up two or three grand and I'd end up losing the lot. It didn't affect me at all because I knew I was about to get a move and there'd be a signing on fee or there was a bonus coming and it would make up for the money I lost.
"The thing is, I'm one of these people who could wake up in the morning and feel absolutely shattered, then I can flick a button and I'm hyper, I'm the clown and I'm doing the jokes. I'm taking my anger out on the training pitch. Football was my escape."
Bookies, often criticised for the growing gambling problem, also came to his aid. Not that Lafferty felt like they were helping him at the time.
"They sent a questionnaire about my gambling and I was very honest filling it in. I'd just lost a lot of money and I logged on one morning to go chasing it and my account was shut down," he admits.
"I absolutely devoured the guy down the phone. I was effing and blinding. The guy said they had to think about my health. I can see now that they were trying to help me."
Hearts chairwoman Budge later released a statement regarding Lafferty.
She said: "On behalf of everyone here at Heart of Midlothian Football Club, I would like to formally record our total support for Kyle Lafferty as he moves forward to deal with his acknowledged addiction to gambling, as reported today by Tom English on the BBC website. I would also like to thank Tom for the professional and sensitive manner in which he has handled this situation.
"Kyle took the enormously brave step of coming to the club and asking for help. No one should underestimate how difficult that decision was for him and his family. However, as is well recognised, the first step to dealing with a problem of this nature is to acknowledge that the problem exists. He has earned our great respect for doing so.
"Kyle has the total backing of the coaching staff and his teammates as he deals with this challenge. It is a testament to the great footballer and character he is, that he has in no way allowed his personal battle to affect his performance on the training ground or on the football field. For the avoidance of doubt, Kyle will continue to train and play as normal.
"Heart of Midlothian has a tremendous fanbase that follows the team in huge numbers both home and away. They have taken Kyle to their hearts since he joined the club in the summer and I have absolutely no doubt that they will continue to back him as we all strive to help him deal with this enormous personal problem."