Dulwich Hamlet FC songbook – the great chants from Champion Hill

Dulwich Hamlet are noted for their enthusiastic and vociferous support, and have a repertoire of songs that would put many big clubs to shame.

Some are very funny indeed. Some are just plain odd. Others border on the realms of the surreal.

If you fancy joining in with The Rabble on the terraces, here’s a selection of popular songs, with explanations for some of the stranger ones. More will be added over time.

Thanks to the posters on the urban75 thread for compiling these contributions, particularly the voodoo stick-toting vornstyle76.

UPDATES 2022

I wanna be DHFC
(Tune: ‘Anarchy in the UK’ by the Sex Pistols)

I am a Dulwich fan
And I am a Morley’s man (person!)
I know what I want and I know how to get it
I wanna destroy the Leatherhead wall
‘Cos I… wanna be… DHFC
(Add grotesque Johnny Rotten-esque remarks after second run-through)

Antiques Roadshow
(Tune: The Antiques Roadhow)

It’s 3 o’clock on Saturday
We’re here to watch the Hamlet play
Dulwich! Dulwich! Dulwich! Dulwich!
Hamlet, Hamlet, Hamlet! Hamlet!
Dulwich, Dulwich, Dulwich, Dulwich!
Hamlet, Hamlet, Hamlet! Hamlet!
‘Where did you get that amazing top?’
‘From the Megashed but they’re out of stock’
And it’s Dulwich Dulwich Dulwich Dulwich
Hamlet Hamlet Hamlet Hamlet

Because we’re Dulwich
(Tune: ‘You’re Gorgeous’ by Babybird)

Because we’re Dulwich
We play in pink and blue
Because we’re Dulwich
We’ll score a goal or two (x2)
Inside bar, outside bar
Inside bar, outside bar
Inside bar outside bar
Cross bar – ha ha!
[Repeat]

Dulwich on a Saturday afternoon

(Tune: ‘Tequila’ by Terrorvision)

Ohhhh Dulwich, you make me happy.
With Dulwich, I feel alright.
‘Cause it’s Dulwich on a Saturday afternoon,
And it’s Dulwich on a Tuesday night.

Put it on his head
(Tune: t.A.T.U.’s ‘All The Things She Said’)

Put it on his head, put it on his head, put it on his head,
Put it on his head, put it on his head,
Put it on his head, put it on his head, put it on his head.
Put it on his head, put it on his head
This. Is. Dan. Ny. Mills.
(What? What?)
THIS. IS DAN. NY. MIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLS.

Mills, Mills, Mills,
(Tune: ‘Bills, bills bills’ by Destiny’s Child)

Mills, Mills Mills,
He’s Danny fucking Mills,
He does his training drills,
Boycotts his leccie bills,
He is pink and blue,
The ball sticks to him like glue,
Da la la da da da,
[Repeat]

Paul Barnes Feels Fine
(Tune: ‘I Feel Fine’ by The Beatles)

Paul Barnes said to me, you know
“We’ll make the National League, you know”
He said so.
I’m in love with him and I feel fine.
I’m so glad
That he is pink and blue!
At Champion Hill
Where we score a goal or two.

Your defence is going to fall
(Tune: ‘Funicolì, funicolà’ by Pavarotti)

Dulwich! Dulwich!
We play in pink and blue
Dulwich! Dulwich!
We’ll score one more than you
And when we get Danny Mills or Jayden Clarke
On the balllllllll…
That is when we know that your defence is going to fall
(Repeat ad nauseum)

Nana Owusu #1
(Tune: 2 Unlimited’s ‘No Limit’)

Nana, Nana Nana, Nana Nana, Nana Nana Owusu
‘Wusu, ’Wusu ‘Wusu, ‘Wusu ‘Wusu, ‘Wusu, ‘Wusu ‘Wusu Nana
[Repeat ad infinitum]

Nana Owusu #2
(Tune: The Beatles’ ‘Hey Jude’)

Hey dude,
Don’t make us sad
Score a great goal
And then one better
Remember to fly along down the wing
And through the game
Keep up the pressure, pressure, pressure, pressure
Na, Nana, Na Na Na Na, Na Na Na Na, Owusu
(Two… Three… Four….)
[Repeat ad infinitum]

Nana Owusu #3
(Tune: ‘Maria’ from Leonard Bernstein’s ‘West Side Story’)

Owusu,
Nanana nanana Owusu,
And suddenly the game,
Will never be the same,
To me
Owusu,
The Hamlet signed Nana Owusu,
He takes the ball to ground,
And dribbles all around
Your team
Owusu,
Sing it loud when the carwash is spraying
Sing it soft when the neighbours complain
Owusu,
I’ll never stop singing
Owusu

Quade Taylor
(Tune: ‘Volare’ by Dean Martin)

Quade Taylor, ooooh
Quade Taylor, ooooh
He plays at right back
He starts all of our attacks

If I could watch Will Wood
(Tune: ‘Wherever You Will Go’ by The Calling)

If I could,
Watch Will Wood,
I’d go wherever Will Wood goes,
To Taunton,
Or Dover,
I’d go wherever Will Wood goes

Starman
(Tune: Starman by David Bowie)

There’s a starman,
Playing on the right,
His name is Joe Felix,
And he’s f*cking dynamite
(Repeat)

No Charlie no party

No Chaaarlie, no paaaaarty
(Repeat)

Osaghae in goal now
(Tune: ‘Ob-la-di, ob-la-da’ by The Beatles)

Osaghae, in goal now
We’re in safe hands,
Dulwich Hamlet’s sub keeper

Paul Barnes in the interim
(Tune: ‘Go West’ by the Petshop Boys)

Paul Barnes,
In the interim,
Paul Barnes,
We’re really into him,
Paul Barnes,
He likes to sing jazz songs,
Paul Barnes,
His name is far too long
[repeat]

To the tune of Duchess by The Stranglers…

Vidal of Dulwich,
He’s going up.
They said he never will.
Sits in the midfield,
Sprays around passes,
Says he’s got attacks to kill,
Attacks to kill.
And the Rabble are warming up!
Warming up!
And Adeniyi will lift the cup!
Lift the cup!
Vidal! Vidal!
Vidal! Vidal!

No tune, just belted out:

FIG! FIG! FIG! FIG!

(The origin of this one is very hazy. It’s been going since the 80s. I’ve heard several different explanations, my favourite being that there was once a linesman with an ill-fitting toupée* so the Dulwich fans, quite predictably, gave him hell for this, chanting “wig!!” continuously which then evolved into “fig”. When enough people join in it can be almost spine-tingling, especially at certain away grounds where the acoustics are just right – it echos off decrepit tin roofs rather splendidly.
* = What kind of masochist decides [a] to be a non-league lino, and to do so wearing an obvious toupée?!?! Staggering.)

To the tune of some old song, I don’t know which, maybe a hymn:

Edgar Kail in my heart, keep me Dulwich,
Edgar Kail in my heart, I pray.
Edgar Kail in my heart, keep me Dulwich,
Keep me Dulwich till my dying day.
No Surrender!
No Surrender!
No surrender to the Tooting scum!

(Edgar Kail, the last player from an amateur club to play for England, is DHFC’s all-time leading goalscorer and still regarded as a hero. As for the “no surrender” line, don’t worry, I’m reliably informed it was adopted way back as a deliberate pisstake of the far right. A couple of West Belfast Catholics have told me they’ve really enjoyed the chance to finally chant it for once. In the words of my wife, “It’s really catchy, no wonder the prods can’t stop singing it.”)

To the tune of the famous Millwall chant:

We are Dulwich.
We are Dulwich.
Super Dulwich!
From the Hill!
We are Dulwich.
Super Dulwich!
We are Dulwich,
From the Hill!
No-one knows us,
No-one knows us!
No-one knows us,
We don’t care!
We are Dulwich.
Super Dulwich!
We are Dulwich,
From the Hill!
HHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!

To the tune of Fields of Athenry:

Oh on the fields of Champion Hill,
Where once they saw the King Edgar play.
Ossie Bayram on the wing,
Will Lillington banging them in.
Oh the glories round the fields of Champion Hill.

To the tune of Gangsters by the Specials:

Why do you support Dulwich Hamlet?
Cos we’re proud to follow you away.
Said you’ve been threatened by Tooting.
But we blew, blew them away.
Da-da-da-da… etc.

To the tune of California Über Alles by the Dead Kennedys:

He is manager Gavin Rose,
He manages semi-pros,
Soon we will be Conference South.
Dulwich Hamlet! Über Alles!
Dulwich Hamlet! Ü-ber Alles!
Über Alles! Dulwich Hamlet!
Über Alles! Dulwich Hamlooo-oooooo-oooooo-ooooo
Da! Da-da-da-da! Da-da-da-da! etc.

To the tune of Yellow Submarine…

Number one is Ellis Green!
Number two is Ellis Green!
Number three is Ellis Green!
Number four is Ellis Green!
He’s Ellis Green! He’s Ellis Green! He’s Ellis Green! He’s Ellis Green!
We all dream of a team of Ellis Greens,
A team of Ellis Greens,
A team of Ellis Greens!

(This once reached beyond “Number one-hundred is Ellis Green”… Over the course we went through just about every aspect of the human condition, including frenzied blood sacrifice ritual dancing.)

Erhan Oztumer’s Song:

I heard a rumour,
About Oztumer,
He came from Turkey,
To bring us joy.
He’s 5 foot 2,
He’s pink & blue
Please don’t take my Erhan away

The endlessly repeating one

L-l-l-l-l-l-L-loooyyy, DULWICH HAMLET!!!  (repeated, mercilessly)

(This one comes from Erhun Oztumer’s extended family/friends, who for the big games last season turned up en mass with hand drums and would chant about DHFC to Turkish tunes. This one was the simplest and best, and we began to adopt it during the title run-in. At our last away game of the season at Herne Bay, with maybe 200 of us there, winning 1-0, we sang this whilst jumping & dancing for about ten minutes solid when Erhun curled a free-kick in. Cue euphoric pandemonium, a recovering alcoholic producing plastic cups and bottles of vodka & coke for everyone else, and even tears of pure joy. Possibly my best moment in football.)

The spelling one

With a D and a U and an L W,
and an I and a C and a double H,
With an A and an M and a L E T,
Super Dulwich Hamlet, FC.

The Tuscany one

We’re the famous Dulwich Hamlet, and we look like Tuscany!
Tuscany! Tuscany! etc

This song recalls the victorious grassroots campaign at the end of the eighties when local Dulwich Hamlet supporters successfully battled for a new Champion Hill Stadium, with the ever-popular Sainsburys’ store on Dog Kennel Hill.

The main NIMBY, anti-Football Club protagonist John Beasley, stood up at public meetings comparing the hill, with its then corrugated iron surrounded adventure playground on one side, and run down, inter-war East Dulwich council flats on the other, to Tuscany!

East Dulwich may have its plus points -the local Football Club being one of them -but Tuscany it is not! To this day Hamlet fans bemuse opposition fans with one of their repertoire of songs: “Tuscany, Tuscany! We’re the famous Dulwich Hamlet, and we look like Tuscany!”.
[Via]

The South London one:

Oh South London! Is wonderful!
Oh South London’s wonderful!
It’s full of bear-baiting and Dulwich!
Oh South London’s wonderful!

This is a very popular (and loud) terrace song, sung to the tune of Here Comes The Hotstepper:

Here comes the Dulwich, Hamlet!
The pinknblue Dulwich, Hamlet!
Smoking a cigar, Hamlet!
Reading Shakespeare, Hamlet!

To the tune of ‘Ain’t nobody‘ by Chaka Khan

Ain’t no team like,
Dulwich Hamlet,
Makes me happy,
Makes me feel this way etc

Another biggie, to the tune of Depeche Mode’s Just Can’t Get Enough:

When I see you Dulwich
I go out of my head
And I just can’t get enough
And I just can’t get enough
When we go to Tooting
Or go to Leatherhead
I just can’t get enough
I just can’t get enough

We score a goal and the rabble go wild
And I just can’t seem to get enough of

Du Du Du Du Du Du
Du Du Du Du Du Du
Dulwich Hamlet!

To the tune of Upside Down by Diana Ross:

Upside down…… Ian Daly
Inside out.. and … Ian Daly
Upside down your turning me, Ian Daly, Ian Daly
‘Round and ’round your turning me, Ian Daly, Ian Daly

A short but simple tune to the Shamen’s Ebeneezer Goode:

Ethan’s good! Ethan’s good!
Ethan Pinnock is good!

Repeat.

Two more:

OOOOOHHHHH! 
Ian Daly’s gravy 
He wore the G-mans Hat
And when he saw the conference south
He said Im having that!
OOOOOOH………...and repeat for ages

Boyer, Boyer
He’s Mathieu Boyer
When they attack, he’s at the back
He’s Mathieu Boyer

This one is based on the notorious Wallgate incident at Leatherhead

Oh campione
The one and only, from Champion Hill.
They say our days are numbered and we’re heading for a fall,
But we’re winning titles and we’re knocking down your walls!…….. Oh campione…..

A tribute to goalkeeper Phil Wilson, sung to the tune of Don’t Cha by the Pussycat Dolls:

Don’t cha wish your keeper was Phil Wilson?
Don’t cha wish your keeper was Phil Wilson?
Don’t cha?
Don’t cha?

Another short one, chanted to the tune of Lindisfarne’s Fog On The Tyne:

Transpontine is all mine, all mine.
Transpontine is all mine.
Come on!

(*Transpontine means “situated on the south side of the Thames”)

A party tune celebrating attacking midfielder Jack Dixon, set to the tune of DISCO by Ottawan

D – I – C – K – O
D – I – C – K – O

He is D!
Dangerous!

He is I!
Ingenious!

He is C!
Calculating!

He is K!
Killer Instinct!

He is O!
Oh, Oh!

Another disco song based on Sylvester’s You Make Me Feel  Mighty Real

You make me feel….. Pink and blue!
You make me feel….. Pink and blue!
You make me feel….. Pink and blue!
You make me feel….. Pink and blue! etc

A bit of Hamlet Krautrock to Kraftwerk’s The Model:

We are Dulwich Hamlet and we’re looking good!
We’d like to score a goal that’s understood!
The Dulwich Hamlet will not be televised!
The pink and blue will leave you mesmerised!

Come and visit the Hamlet:
Dulwich’s ground is just a couple of miles from central Brixton, kick off is at 3pm, so come on down and support the boys!

Dulwich Hamlet Football Club
Champion Hill Stadium
Edgar Kail Way
East Dulwich
LONDON
SE22 8BD
Tel: 020 7274 8707

Discuss the Hamlet!
Dulwich Hamlet FC 2013-2014 season – chat, rumours, reports