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It's normal to wonder about the average age to lose your virginity, and how you might stack up in comparison to your peers. Whether you've had sex and want to know how many others are, too, or if you haven't and want to know if that's normal, everyone is naturally curious when it comes to virginity. But, there is no right or wrong moment in life for this big event. The age when you feel ready for sex, understand consent, and have a partner you trust may be the “right” age for you. Still, there is some data out there if you still want to know about the averages. For instance, the CDC surveyed U.S. high school students for the National Youth Risk Behavior Survey¹ in 2021 and found that 30% have had sexual intercourse (a decrease from 47% in 2011, and 38% in 2019).
To put this all into context, we found some data tackling sexual relationships, from when people start having sex, to the safety practices they’re using.
But before we dive into the results, we want to reiterate something really important:
There is no “normal” age to lose your virginity
Having sex for the first time should happen for everyone on their own timeline. Some people define sex differently than others, meaning their first time might include different acts than someone else’s. Others may choose never to have sex — and that is 100% ok. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the statistics (including the ones that follow), but don’t get too lost in the numbers. There might be some averages, but ultimately, everyone is different. And, virginity is a social construct: Whether or not you choose to have sex and when doesn’t say anything about you as a person!.
Still, wondering “has it happened to other people?” is a completely understandable thing to think and it’s also why topics like this are so intriguing. Let’s call the following information “feeding human curiosity” rather than setting some sort of timeline.
Ok, make sure you’ve got that firmly planted in your head before moving on. Once you’re set, let’s get into the results:
The average age people lose virginity
As we mentioned, people define sex differently, so they may have different thresholds for what losing virginity even means. But generally speaking, Planned Parenthood2 shares that the average age that people lose their virginity is 17. Online health consulting service Zava released a survey3 in 2018 that dug into participants’ sexual journeys and, of the 500 Americans and 500 Europeans who responded, the average age of virginity loss was 17.4 years old. This seems to hold somewhat true regardless of sexual orientation. Zava’s survey shows that average age of virginity loss doesn’t differ wildly for straight people compared to LGBTQ people. Act for Youth, a research organization focused on youth development and young adult health, conducted a survey4 in 2019 that tackled same-sex intercourse among high school students. It found that people who identified as lesbian, gay, or bisexual have had vaginal intercourse earlier than their first same-sex experience. The same study found that 15% of women between the ages of 15 and 19 have had a sexual experience with a same-sex partner.
Condom Use
The National Youth Risk Behavior Survey from 2021 showed that 52% of high school students polled used a condom the last time they had sex — a decrease from the 60% who used a condom when surveyed in 2011. When looking at gay, lesbian, and bisexual students specifically in 2021, 40% shared that they used a condom. Some students reported they used birth control to prevent pregnancy, while 13.7% of respondents engaging in heterosexual sex didn’t use any method to prevent pregnancy. While preventing unintended pregnancy is important, it’s not the only reason to use a condom or another barrier during sex. For people engaging in any kind of sex — whether or not it can result in pregnancy — using a barrier method can help prevent sexually transmitted infections.
So, all that said, there's no normal when it comes to our feelings on sex. Want to learn more about how to understand if you're ready for sex? Head here.
This article was first published in 2015 and has since been updated to include more current information.
Sources:
- https://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/sexualbehaviors/index.htm
- https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/teens/sex/virginity
- https://www.zavamed.com/uk/sexual-journeys.html
- https://actforyouth.net/adolescence/demographics/sexual_health.cfm
- http://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/data_statistics/fact_sheets/adult_data/cig_smoking/
