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Did you ever find yourself scrolling through your feed, clicking on a royal link and before you know it, accepting cookies on several sites, reading all about Meghan Markle's career as an international spy and convincing yourself Queen Elizabeth was an extraterrestrial reptile?
So just me then? Cool, cool, cool.
I've scoured the internet, fallen into an abyss of royal conspiracy theories and survived to bring you a few of the most bizarre of them all – including some that prompted the palace to issue official statements on the matter and others still making the rounds, with a surprising amount of evidence to back them up too.
Bear with me. Things are about to get weird.
Wasting eggs and binge drinking
The royal family's got some pretty interesting eating habits. I mean, even the corgis have their own menu. But nothing caused quite a stir like the Prince Charles egg rumour of 2006.
According to The Guardian, in his book On Royalty, Jeremy Paxman wrote of Prince Charles' dirty habit of wasting eggs: "Because his staff were never quite sure whether the egg would be precisely to the satisfactory hardness, a series of eggs was cooked and laid out in an ascending row of numbers. If the prince felt that number five was too runny, he could knock the top off number six or seven."
Monster!
A spokesperson for the prince later cleared things up and said the great egg debate was "not true". Six years later, in 2012, Clarence House also disputed the claim on the official website for the prince and Duchess of Cornwall under their "frequently asked questions" section – not a word of a lie.
Another royal rumour, started by someone on the inside no less, former chef to both the queen and Princess Diana, Darren McGrady, indirectly revealed Her Majesty threw back four cocktails a day, which would technically make her a binge drinker. He later cleared things up with Reader's Digest, saying he shared her favourite cocktails – not her daily intake of alcohol.
"I'm pretty confident she doesn't have four drinks a day," he said. "She'd be pickled."
Meghan Markle, the US sleeper spy
After Paul Bettany appeared on The Tonight Show and told Jimmy Fallon his theory that Meghan Markle's a US sleeper spy, the internet just hasn't been able to let it go.
According to Vanity Fair, the actor said back in 2018: "I think that Meghan Markle might be a sleeper agent for the US government. The dad doing the photos thing, it's like a false-flag event. I think the CIA's involved—everybody. I think Piers Morgan's involved."
Piers too? Can't be.
The rumour is still doing the rounds on the internet with fans of the duchess taking things one step further after Twitchy editor, Greg Pollowitz, suggested Archie could go on to become president of the US.
"Prince Harry's kids will be Americans. What if one grows up to be president and is in line for the throne at the same time? Brits are playing long-ball here, but it's a smart move. They want America back and this is how they'll do it," he wrote in a tweet that has since gone viral with 129.8K retweets and 436.9K likes.
Well, the Sussexes have recently relocated to Los Angeles...
The royals are extraterrestrial, shape-shifting Illuminati reptiles
Infamous conspiracy theorist, David Icke, has long believed and talked up his Illuminati theory that the world is ruled by a secret society made up of the royals and political and business leaders. Further, he suggests members of the royal family are shape-shifting reptilian lizards – a hybrid of sorts between reptilian aliens and humans, reports Express.
And he says has the proof to back it up.
"I have travelled and been to 50 countries to research it," he once said in an interview. "It took the form of meeting people who tell of experiences of seeing people, often in positions of power, change from human form to a reptilian form and back again in front of their eyes.
"The hybrids became demi gods - part human, part god. They were obviously perceived as gods. The hybrid bloodlines were the ones that became the royal families of the worlds. In the Chinese empire, they claim the right to be emperor because they are descended from the serpent god. It is all founded on the myth of dragon and they all come from the reptilian connection to justify the right to rule."
He goes on to explain the "obsession of interbreeding among royals" and marrying someone close to the family to "hold the genetic structure". Are you also thinking about the fact that Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip are second cousins right now?
"Look at ancient texts and the Bible," he said. "Do you really think that the snake in the Garden of Eden was really a snake?"
*Spits out coffee*
According to The Guardian, around 12 million people in the US also believe that interstellar lizards in people suits actually rule the country.
Prince Charles is a vampire
If Prince Charles isn't an extraterrestrial reptile, he must be a vampire.
According to New Idea, genealogy records show His Royal Highness is, in fact, a descendant of Vlad the Impaler, aka the man who Bram Stoker's Dracula is based on.
Further, the disease Porphyria - which is an iron-deficiency disease that makes your skin sensitive to sunlight - is present in the royal family, which has only fuelled the theory among royal enthusiasts.
It kind of makes you wonder, is the queen a descendent of Vlad too? And when they boil all seven eggs and put together the prince's breakfast, do they ever use garlic?
Queen Elizabeth I was actually a farm boy named Neville
According to Reader's Digest, in the 16th century King Henry VIII sent Elizabeth Tudor, who later should have gone on to become Queen Elizabeth I, to a small village to protect her from the plague. It is believed she died there, but too scared to tell the king – he was apparently known for killing his wives – Elizabeth's governess instead planned to send back another child in her place. But, since there were no girls who looked quite like her, she sent back Neville, a farm boy.
Sounds pretty far-fetched but conspiracy theorists say that's why the Virgin Queen never married, while Dracula author, Stoker, popularised the theory in his "non-fiction" Famous Imposters.
I wonder if Stoker also predicted Harry and Meghan would eventually exit the royal firm?
Love Actually actually predicted Harry and Meghan's romance
In 2017, around the same time Harry and Meghan announced their engagement, a theory about their romance started circulating on the internet.
According to The Hollywood Reporter, the cult classic Christmas film Love Actually, may have just predicted their love story.
Remember Sam and Joanna, the youngest pairing in the movie? The likeness of Thomas Brodie-Sangster – the actor who played Sam – and Olivia Olson – who played Joanna – to Harry and Meghan and the storyline of a young British boy who falls in love with an American girl are pretty familiar.
Not to mention the fact that Sam was also dealing with the tragic loss of his mother, while Joanna was a performer.
Little Sam tells pop Daniel (Liam Neeson) in the film: "There was [one person] for Kate and Leo. There was for you. There is for me."
And Harry pretty much always knew there was one person for him too. After he was asked when he knew he would one day marry Meghan, he said: "The first time we met."
I believe it.
