Mind-reading rodents? Scientists have shown that telepathic rats can communicate using brain power alone. Across continents. Yes, really.
Neuroscientists at Duke University rigged rats with electrodes in their brains and then conducted an experiment. One rat was trained how to press a lever in exchange for a treat. Then a second rat was given a go but no training. If the second rat got the correct lever, both rats got the treat. Turns out the first rat “taught” the second rat which lever to push 70 percent of the time even when the first rat was in North Carolina and the second rat was in Brazil. This jaw-dropping discovery, published recently in Scientific Reports, is reportedly the first confirmed brain-to-brain communication between animals. A study involving monkeys is also in the works.
Some argue this is the advent of biological computers, that animals, and perhaps someday people, will be able to function in a hivemind. I’m creeped out by this research and not just because rats give me the icks. They do, but it’s really the Borg factor that freaks me out.
You see, most people have trouble accepting the idea that rats might be clever. They get downright annoyed if you suggest that rats might be smarter than people. Me? Not so much.
Of course, I didn’t always feel this way. I certainly never suspected that rats could outsmart humans with ease. Now I am not so sure.
Let’s be clear. I’m not usually obsessed with vermin. But it’s hard to ignore the skittering balls of germs when they have decided to invade your house. It wasn’t so bad at first. We just heard rustling noises in the attic. It seemed unsanitary to have rodents up there, so we called an exterminator. He sealed entry points on the roofs and placed traps near openings and sprayed peppermint oil everywhere. It sounded like a good idea at the time.
Alas, the only thing that accomplished was to drive the rats from the attic to the garage. So we threw away anything in the garage that could seem even remotely edible, even bags of plant fertilizer, and we set more traps.
That’s when the rats decided to prove their intellectual superiority. They simply moved into the kitchen and turned our pantry into an all-night buffet. We awoke to find banana peels piled in corners and little bits of orange scattered all about the floor. Humans: 0. Rats: 10.
The exterminator got tough then, placing traps all around the hole he found. We’re talking snap traps, glue boards, the works.
What happened? The rats simply sidestepped the traps and decided to check out the entire house. The day after the rat guy came, we found droppings on the dining room table (ack!), under the couches in the living room, and behind the chair where my toddler crouches during games of hide and seek. Awesome.
That’s when it became clear that we had wasted a month and paid a lot of money for the sole purpose of getting the rats out of the attic and into the house.
Upon reflection, I realized that having the rats in the crawl space wasn’t so bad. I wonder if I could pay the exterminators to get the rats back upstairs? Maybe we could open up a little rodent B&B up there. Nothing fancy, just some throw pillows and some leftover Brie.
If this experience has taught me anything, it’s that animals are far more ingenious than we usually suspect. Also, that there are always unintended consequences of our actions. Big time.
I have no idea how we are ever going to get rid of our nose-twitching, scraggly-tailed guests. Sigh. But I do know this. Scientists should exercise extreme caution before creating a swarm of rats. Remember the Borg? In “Star Trek,” they were robot-human hybrids who shared a collective consciousness. If one of them learned something, they all learned it. That’s what made them impossible to defeat.
The rats are already doing fine outwitting me and mine. They don’t need any help from ESP.
