22 Ridiculous Petitions That Were Sadly Rejected By The British Government

    "Introduce a law so that Rick & Morty never leaves Netflix."

    Scott Bryan
    by Scott Bryan

    BuzzFeed TV Editor

    Hello. I want to let you know that there is an amazing Twitter bot called @RejectPetitions, which tweets every petition that has been submitted to the UK government and then rejected for some reason.

    petition.parliament.uk

    It is a fascinating insight into the concerns and desires of the British people. I've reviewed every tweet since January and here are my favourites:

    1. "Make the Eurovision Song Contest a national holiday."

    Ragnar Singsaas / Getty Images

    Why: "The Eurovision Song Contest is a celebration of European culture and history."

    Why it was rejected: "The final of Eurovision is traditionally held on a Saturday. We are therefore not sure what action you would like the UK Government or Parliament to take."

    My judgment: First, there are the semifinals on Tuesday and Thursdays on BBC Four, thank you very much. Second, the hangover this event provides makes it imperative for you guys to factor in the following Monday.

    2. "Make sure that Rick & Morty never leaves Netflix by law."

    Netflix / AMC

    Why? "We have recently found out that Netflix are taking the widely loved series off of its servers."

    Why it was rejected: "It’s about something that the UK Government or Parliament is not responsible for."

    My judgment: I am not so bothered about this, but I love the idea. Can we add Changing Rooms to Netflix please? Just because it aged terribly.

    3. "Ensure that University of Oxford and the University of Cambridge enter one team to University Challenge."

    BBC / ITV Studios

    Why: "Stop the elitism!"

    Why it was rejected: "It’s about something that the UK Government or Parliament is not responsible for."

    My judgment: I can't really say much on this because I only do well at University Challenge during the music round and only when the questions aren't related to classical music.

    4. "Let Blue Peter run a competition for the design of the new British passport post-Brexit."

    Jeff Gilbert/PA

    Why? "Blue Peter has long been the purveyor of well-regulated competitions with no cheating or fibbing."

    Why it was rejected: "The UK Government and Parliament aren't responsible for deciding which competitions Blue Peter will run."

    My judgment: I have spent the last five minutes trying to come up with a "here's one I made earlier" joke to drop in here but I can't.

    5. "Make it compulsory for train conductors to say 'all aboard' before people get on."

    Matt Cardy / Getty Images

    Why? "Making conductors day 'all aboard' at every station insures that people know this is a welcoming country and people are not discriminated against as 'all' are welcome on board."

    Why it was rejected: "It’s about something that the UK Government or Parliament is not responsible for. This would be the responsibility of individual train operating companies."

    My judgment: To be honest, I want my train to turn up on time first.

    6. "Make intentionally revealing movie and TV series spoilers a criminal offence."

    BBC / World Productions

    Why: "It is the storyteller’s prerogative as to when significant plot points are revealed to the audience."

    Why it was rejected: "We're not sure whether you're concerned about people revealing the content of a TV programme or film before it has been officially shown or released."

    My judgment: I mean, if someone does leak what happens in a show before it has been seen, they should go to prison, no question. But I don't think it that you should go to prison after tweeting spoilers of who leaves Bake Off if you haven't caught up on All 4. In fact, you should go to prison if you haven't seen Bake Off when it is transmitted.

    7. "Ensure that Advent Calendars start Advent on the 1st November and not the 1st December."

    Matt Cardy / Getty Images

    Why: "I feel that we all need a longer time of solidarity to come together and celebrate eachother [sic]."

    Why it was rejected: "The UK Government and Parliament are not responsible for Advent Calendars."

    My judgment: Heck, I might put a petition for the Oxford Street Christmas lights to be put up at the start of December. It has been WEEKS.

    8. "Make Snapchat downgrade to version 10.24.5.0."

    Lionel Bonaventure / AFP / Getty Images

    Why? "Many Brits have found it extremely difficult to navigate with such comfort."

    Why it was rejected: "It’s about something that the UK Government or Parliament is not responsible for."

    My judgment: I'm more of a Bebo kind of guy.

    9. "Make the Argentina vs England 1986 World Cup quarter final be re-reviewed by VAR."

    Mike King / Getty Images

    Why? "It is our year."

    Why it was rejected: "It’s about something that the UK Government or Parliament is not responsible for."

    My judgment: I wasn't born yet.

    10. Only have World Cup matches on the BBC because we tend to lose when the match is shown on ITV.

    petition.parliament.uk

    Why? "BBC Played 13, won 9, drawn 1, lost 3. A win percentage of 69%."

    Why it was rejected: "It’s about something that the UK Government or Parliament is not responsible for."

    My judgment: Same.

    11. Make the Doctor in Doctor Who a vegan.

    Sophie Mutevilian / BBC

    Why? "I believe it's vital the BBC sends a message to protect our animals."

    Why it was rejected: "The BBC is an independent body governed by a Royal Charter. Under the terms of that Charter, the BBC is operationally and editorially independent of government and there is no provision for the government to intervene in the BBC’s day-to-day operations."

    My judgment: I would have loved it if the government responded in the same way as the BBC when there was a backlash to a female Doctor: "The Doctor is an alien from the planet Gallifrey..."

    12. Legislate so that Nando's bring back the veggie pitta.

    Nando's

    Why? "The alternatives don't compare to the amazing pitta that once was."

    Why it was rejected: "It’s about something that the UK Government or Parliament is not responsible for."

    My judgment: Never tried it so I have no opinion.

    13. Introduce an organisation that kills seagulls.

    petition.parliament.uk

    Why? "A whole new organisation must be formed to stop them."

    Why it was rejected: "We understand that you're concerned about seagulls, but we're not sure exactly what you'd like the Government or Parliament to do."

    My judgment: Kill all the birds.

    14. Make Danny Dyer a Lord.

    Tristan Fewings / Getty Images

    Why? "Danial [sic] Dyer is an inspiration to the British working class and should therefore be named Lord."

    Why it was rejected: "It’s about honours or appointments."

    My judgment: Absolutely, no question. Why are we even debating this? (I should point out that the petition writer called Danny "Danial" throughout.)

    15. Pass a law to protect Neo Nightclub in Yeovil from closure.

    Google Maps

    Why? "Neo is the only club in Yeovil and everyone loves it."

    Why it was rejected: "Local licensing decisions are the responsibility of your local council."

    My judgment: I am happy to report that Neo Nightclub continues to operate and its opening hours are 10pm–4am Fridays. Drinks called J Bombs are £1.

    16. Extend McDonald's breakfast to 12pm from 10:30am.

    Justin Sullivan / Getty Images

    Why? "Productivity would be vastly improved if this choice was available."

    Reason it was rejected: "It’s about something that the UK Government or Parliament is not responsible for."

    My judgment: Oh my god the amount of times that I have arrived at McDonalds HANGING at 10:29am and I have experienced breakfast adrenalin.

    17. "We want Frank Ocean and Objekt to do a track together."

    Jason Merritt / Getty Images

    Why? "It would be mint."

    Reason it was rejected: "It’s about something that the UK Government or Parliament is not responsible for."

    My judgment: Stop, collaborate, and listen.

    18. "Stop Jamie Oliver from manipulating fast food legislation."

    Ben Pruchnie / Getty Images

    Why? "Jamie Oliver is systematically taking away our right to eat fast food."

    Why it was rejected: "It is not the UK Government or Parliament's responsibility to say how an individual campaigns on a subject."

    My judgment: No comment.

    19. Ensure that Walugi is a character in Nintendo's Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.

    Nintendo

    Why? "He is an innocent man who is branded with being Luigi's arch rival and deserves his spot in this fantastic franchise."

    Why it was rejected: "It’s about something that the UK Government or Parliament is not responsible for."

    My judgment: When I play Mario Kart I always choose Yoshi.

    20. Allow the government to have unlimited money so it does not have to rely on borrowing and taxation.

    Matt Cardy / Getty Images

    Why? "Make Government stand on its own two feet."

    Why it was rejected: "It’s not clear what the petition is asking the UK Government or Parliament to do."

    My judgment: Now, I failed my economics module at university so I had to retake it during the summer, but something there doesn't seem right.

    21. Reinstate the coffee machine at a sixth form college in Leicester.

    Sean Gallup / Getty Images

    Why? "Rather than increasing the price of hot drinks, St Paul's decided to remove the entire machine. This is not only illogical but deprives the students here of their means to stay awake."

    Why it was rejected: "It’s about something that the UK Government or Parliament is not responsible for."

    My judgment: Buy a cafetiere ffs.

    22. Errrrrrrrr... and finally.

    UK Government

    Why it was rejected: "It’s about something that the UK Government or Parliament is not responsible for."

    My judgment: Protect. This. Twitter. Account. At. All. Costs.