Breastfeeding: Anytime, Anywhere, Any Age. 

 

I recently got back off holiday, and who doesn’t like that? This wasn’t an exotic holiday – it was a normal English seaside town. But, nonetheless, it was a voyage of self-discovery.

 

When mums have their new little babies and begin breastfeeding, at some point they take the leap of nursing in public, and different mums feel differently about this. Some are not fazed by it, others muddle through with confident companions. Some are shy, some prefer to cover, some prefer a feeding room, some prefer company or certain familiar places – but generally it’s a hurdle we all jump.

 

For most mums it gets easier. I remember my first time, with my husband in Costa Coffee six days post-partum, celebrating our wedding anniversary. He said to me, ‘No one is going to notice, and if they do notice, no one is going to care. And if they do care, they’ll have to get through me to say anything.’ He was there the second time I fed in public, and the third and the fourth. He helped support my arms with rolled-up coats in place of cushions, and on occasion his arm or leg if there was nothing else. He always sat with his cool, calm and confident stance – and it gave me confidence.

 

 

When Marks paternity leave was over, and I was ‘on my own’, I was one of those lucky mums who had a village of breastfeeding friends. We fed together all over the city, and any nerves I ever had vanished, until I didn’t mind where I was, or what was happening. I fed in cafes, baby groups, parks, shops, buses; I even fed on stage at the East Midlands Baby Show when I took part in a demo group.

 

My top tips for getting accustomed to nursing in public:

1. Take someone with you the first few times
2. Choose familiar or comfortable surroundings while you gain confidence 
3. Don’t be afraid to do it YOUR way (covered, uncovered, etc.)
4. Practice in front of a mirror so you can see how little anyone else can see
5. Wear two tops so you can pull the top one up and the bottom one down for access
6. Focus on your baby, not your surroundings

 

along my journey, I carried on feeding wherever I wanted. Nothing ever happened. But along the way, month by month, less of my friends were with me. After a year there were still a few of us, but after 18 months there were only a couple of us. After 2, there was just me. And that’s ok; I don’t need a crowd around me. And at 2.5yrs old, my daughter doesn’t nurse much in public anymore…

 

 

And then there was the holiday. All of a sudden, when we were out all day every day, I realised how much she still feeds, and how unaccustomed I had become to feeding her in public! It was like having a new-born again – I was nervous, glancing around, wondering what people might say.

 

We all know that natural-term feeding is not common, and that lots of people think that it’s not normal to feed a toddler. I’ve read those comments from bigots in the Daily Mail and the Sun whenever there’s a breastfeeding article, and I know what they think of mums like me. And even though I’m confident in my actions, and I know that I’m doing the right thing for my daughter, sometimes, those people get to you.

 

Somehow, sometimes it’s hard to remember that you have the right to breastfeed anywhere you and your child are entitled to be.  It’s hard to put your cool face on and remember that there are breasts jiggling out on display all over the place, and no one cares about seeing breasts until there’s a child involved. Sometimes I even forget for a second how passionate I am about feminism and equality, and that my nipple is no more ‘offensive’ than a man’s nipple.

 

 

In that moment of hesitation on holiday, I was lucky that there he was again: my husband Mark, someone who is now the biggest advocate in my life of natural-term feeding, bringing me back to earth. And he was saying the things I needed to focus on. ‘Come on Ali, you know that what you’re doing is the normal and natural way of parenting. Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks, they don’t matter. It’s just about your daughter and what she wants and what she needs.’ I looked down at her and she grinned and said, ‘Mimi please,’ (her word for milk) while yanking at my top…

 

 

So I fed her. I fed at the pub when she woke up from her nap grumpy, and at the beach when she was chilly from paddling in the sea. I fed her on the cliff walk when she fell over and hurt herself; I fed her sitting on the bonnet of the car while Mark was fetching ice-creams. I fed her sitting in the garden, I fed her in the hot tub, I fed her at the play farm we went to and I fed her at the swimming pool.

 

 

And I cherished every second. Because soon, she won’t want to come to mummy for a moment with me. She’ll be busy playing and she’ll be busy with her friends, and she won’t look back. So I won’t let the thought of what some random stranger might think about me feeding her stop me from sharing precious memories with my girl.

 

I’ll feed my daughter anytime, anywhere, any age.

By Ali Thomas