Rockefeller

I have all the time in the world tonight!  I think I should do another Pokemon Rainbowc*STUCK ON YOUTUBE*Last chapter was Golduck’s birthday and prom with her sister.  Lapras lost her mind, Larissa got really really depressed and came over to take it out on Golduck while Golduck threw a party, and I finally snapped towards zombies and I am killing the NPC dipshits left and right.

Geodude: “Yeah, it’s for my little girl, she became a young adult today and I wanted to get her a new pet for her birthday!  Thank you, I would love to adopt her, she sounds like a joy.”

Pet Social Worker Lady Thing: “I have come with your new dog, sir!”

Geodude: “Did you also come with a hairbrush, lady?  Because holy shit”

Meet Umbreon!  The newest petmate of Houndoom and hopefully Golduck’s new best friend!

Umbreon: “Glad to meet your acquaintance and I hope we get along splend-oh, you have dumbass gnomes, I see how it’s going to be.”

Oh?

Gabumon: “GET A ROOM”

Calumon: “Help, this feels way too erotic”

Yep, they are still pretty stupid.

Houndoom: “I sensed someone in here playing with my ball that I never use?  Who are you?”

Houndoom: “New dog friend!  My, you are pretty!  I’m Houndoom!”

Umbreon: “Nice to meet you, Houndoom, I’m Umbreon!”

Ferby: “And I’m Ferby, just sitting over here, being oddly out of character reading a book, like I never do, la de da…”

Houndoom: “I like you!  I like you lots!  I am going to bring to you so many shiny rocks!”

Umbreon: “That’s… nice to hear?”

And then they ran around for a few hours playing hide and seek…

Houndoom: “Come out come out, where ever you are!”

Umbreon: “Um.  I can’t.”

Umbreon: “Help, I am stuck!  Quick, I need two pipe bombs, a rubber band, and a socket wrench to get out of this situation.”

Houndoom: “Oh dear…”

And then the family moved the van on their way to Golduck’s graduation, Umbreon still stuck in the muffler and all.  Well she was nice while she lasted.

Golduck: “Hey look!  It’s the weird glitched bitch from last chapter’s title picture!  And you would have thought she would have starved to death.”

Ferby: “Oh hon, she feeds on people’s song-a-grams, and so she’s probably stock piled on that.  Just hit her with the van and hopefully her corpse will go over the bridge railing.”

Songstress: “Huh??”

After they left, this weird bastard showed up

Just… LOOK AT HIM.

The proportions on this dog!  He’s  so weird!

Stray: “I take offense to that.”

I like him.

Ferby: “Oh goodie, your sister is here!  We can make this a family event!  I’m so happy!”

Golduck: “Oh Arceus.  I can just feel the awkwardness now.”

Oh YOU think you can feel the awkwardness…

What the PISS is this, that now you are an adult you are, IN FACT, AFTER ALL, going to be GIRLFRIENDS with your own SISTER?!

YOU TWO, JEEZ

Golduck: “LOOK, Lapras!  I’m not going through with this!  We have to break up, because no way I’m being with my own sister!  No!  Not happening!  Go back home to Larissa and stop making this awkward for me!”

Lapras: “But… WHY?!  What about the kids?!”

Golduck: “WHAT ABOUT THEM, THEY AREN’T MINE!”

Geodude: “Aww, my poor baby :C”

Golduck: “DAD, YOU AREN’T HELPING”

Rockefeller: “Bro, do you even lift”

Meanwhile, back at the house, I thought the beefy looking stray was too good to pass up, so I temporarily added him to the household, until I can find another home for him.  His name is Rockefeller, because I just named him the first thing that came to mind, it’s not like he’s going to be staying long anyway.

Golduck’s LTW is just like her big sister Gyarados’, as in she wants to be an international spy.  So right after graduation, she got a job at the station and set out on her first job, for Lamont.

Golduck: “So let me get this straight, you want me to get dirt on some guy you know, but won’t tell me the reason?”

Lamont: “I’m paying you good money to do so.”

Golduck: “Sounds fine to me!”

Golduck: “This guy doesn’t seem to have anything incriminating in his mail, but I learned that pulling this face seems to make my bindi all runny.”

Ok, you really can’t see it from here, but it does get drippy when she snoops in the mail.  Probably from sweating at the thought of getting caught I suppose.

Golduck: “Sorry to tell you Lamont, but all he had in his mailbox was bills, porn subscriptions, and a hornet’s nest, so he’s clean as a whistle.”

Lamont: “Then I’m just going to have to kill him.”

Golduck: “What??”

Lamont: “Here’s $200 like I promise, goodbye now!”

Golduck: “Oh, sweet.  Later!”

HOWEVER BACK AT THE HOUSE, GJIAOHEGWANGJKFHGREIO

Geodude: “Dogs!  Have either of you seen my husband?!”

Umbreon: “He’s at work, Geodude!  Why?”

Geodude: “Oh that’s right, he still does that.  Great, the one time I need him around and his knowledge of bed pan cleanliness medicine, he’s not here, go figure.”

WHY, I DON’T WANT THIS HAPPENING YET

Especially since the only beings here to witness this are the dogs…

Rockefeller: “Not Geodude!  I like Geodude… he was the only other person in the house that lifted…”

Not right now, Rockie.

Geodude: “PLEASE DEATH! Not right now!  JUST LET ME HAVE ONE MORE SPIN AS A DJ, JUST ONE”

Death: “Your time is up, I don’t like waiting any more days for your soul, Geodude!  Besides, we might have a turn table up in heaven you can play on…”

Sheri: “We don’t son!  We don’t have a turntable in heaven!  BAAW!”

Death: “Dammit woman, shut up.”

Geodude: “Damn, and I was just told last chapter that I was expected to live way longer than this…”

I thought so!  I expected so!  I didn’t want Geodude to go so early, and I put so much faith in the idea that he was going to be the sim that made it.  Shows how little I know!

Sheri: “My poor son!  My poor baby!  Come to the other side and let mama hold you, sweetheart…”

At the very same time that Geodude called it quits, it was announced that Rhy and Aery are also about to die soon, bringing the end of the rest of the Pewter generation

THIS ISN’T A DAY I LOOKED FORWARD TO

RIP, Geodude.  May there be a DJ booth in heav-OH, that’s right Sheri said there wasn’t.

Death: “What a good doggie.  What a pretty doggie.  I can’t wait in a couple of months to reap your soul and add you to my roster of hellhounds to hunt game along the river Styx!”

Houndoom: “Nom nom, not listening, treeeeeat :D”

Ferby: “This can’t be happening!  I just got home to find my poor Geodude is dead!  This can’t be happening to me!  Why, my dear husband why!”

Poor Ferby.  He’s probably going to grieve for a long long time.

Golduck: “Here I am, to help you solve your case of-oh hell, your face.”

Ugly McHideous: “What was that?”

Golduck: “I’m so sorry sir!  I can’t help it!  This face!  It makes me want to cry!  Boo hoo hoo!”

Ugly: “What?!  Oh please, let go off my head, lady!”

Golduck: “Let’s see… Hustler, Hustler, Penthouse, phone bill, phone bill, incriminating photos of gang related crimes, nope, not a damn thing in here about a wedding ring for my cousin.  Oh well.”

Golduck: “But what is this, a body buried under the walk way?  Now that’s something.”

Zombitch: “Please, help me!  I was killed weeks ago and was stuffed under their cobblestone, rotting!  Please, make a police report!  Avenge my death, aven-” *MURDERED AGAIN*

Golduck: “Sorry to tell you this Lois, but it doesn’t look like your boyfriend is proposing to you any time soon.  Also, he might be a sadistic killer.”

Lois: “Oh no dear, I helped him hide that body.  That you don’t have to worry about… ok?!”

Golduck: “…Sounds fine to me!”

Golduck: “So what’s this case so important that you actually got out of school a little early to meet me out here?”

Cristina: “Look, I know my brother has been touching my mouthwash, and I am tired of it!  Bring him to justice, get him in time out, and  find out what he did with my mouthwash!”

Golduck: “Kids can make reports like this?  What?”

Golduck: “Look, your sister says you have been taking the mouthwash.  Now I don’t know what kind of bathroom etiquette Lapras and Larissa are letting you kids do at your house, but don’t be messing in Cristina’s mouthwash, ok?”

Dmitri: “Are you serious?!  My sister is so pissed off about that mouthwash that she’s ratting me out to our cop aunt?!  That shit is not funny at ALL, dude!”

Golduck: “Look.  Here’s ten bucks.  Don’t go backwashing in the Listerine, alright?”

Dmitri: “Humph fine.  As for pissing in her morning cereal tomorrow, that’s another thing…”

Rockefeller: “So uh… wanna go hang out or something bro?  Do some man things together?”

Houndoom: *Is too busy dreaming about wrestling a black forest ham hoagie*

Look at these two.  So cute together.  So sweet and good 😀

Since Golduck’s MM allows her to go days on end working on her career, I haven’t even been back to the legacy house in a couple days. How’s it going, Ferby?

Ferby: “It’s cool.  Very quiet.  I get up, go to work, come home, and sit in the quiet house all day.  It isn’t all that bad, I suppose.”

He’s still coping, poor baby.

Golduck: “So I was wondering if you have seen some guy’s missing flamingo anywhere?”

Annie: “I can’t say fur sure, as you see, I’m missing me eye!  It be lost to the sea about three moons ago!  Ok, not the sea, more like me hook fur a hand when I went to do me eyeliner…”

Golduck: “I’ll try to remember to download you a little eye patch just for that.”

Golduck: “So Damien, have you seen a little-”

Damien: “REALLY, Golduck?!  Can’t you see I’m in a middle of a… little “date” over here?!”

Hooker: “Look buster, if you are going to spend your half an hour talking to some cop, I’ll take my business elsewhere, right now!”

Damien: “I’m sorry, I’ll be right there, dear!”

Golduck: “Ok then…”

Golduck: “They say flamingos like water, so why not try to look at the water’s edge!”

I think a flashlight might be more useful when finding a flamingo late at night rather than a magnifying glass.  Just saying, Golduck.

Client: “Thanks for finding my flamingo!  I’m going home now!”

Golduck: “Well you wouldn’t mind looking for some burn salve for me will you?  I’ve just burned the holy hell out of my neck just now.”

Umbreon: “Houndoom, I’ve been thinking!  I like you a lot, and if we are to be a couple, we need something special between us.  You know where I’m going with this?”

Houndoom: “Sandwiches!”

Umbreon: “No dummy!  Kids!”

Houndoom: “Oh, uh… I don’t know about all that, Umbreon.”

Umbreon: “Oh come on.  Puppies?”

Houndoom: “I’m just… going to go stand over here now.”

Umbreon: “Humph.  You may have avoided babies for now Houndoom… but sooner or later, you WILL give me what I want…”

Houndoom: “Damn, now I really really want that sandwich.”

And that’s it for this chapter!

Great, now I want a sandwich.