Bipolar disorder, also known as manic depression is a type of mood disorder that causes unusual shifts in mood and behaviour. Described as ‘mood states’, a person with bipolar may go through a state of excitability and increased energy known as mania and phases of lethargy and low mood and which are classed as depressive states. Whilst everyone goes through ups and downs in life, these phases can be often described as uncontrolled and intense in people with bipolar which can have a negative impact on aspects of their lives and interpersonal relationships.
Saba Malik, who runs the blog MuslimBipolar shares with us how her life has been affected by bipolar disorder and both the struggles as well as the positives she has come across in living with this condition.
Q: Can you tell us a little bit about yourself?
S.M: My name is Saba, I was born in Pakistan. I always had a “crazy” side. I always had these moods, I’ve been journaling ever since I could remember and I would write -I feel like there’s something inside me that’s not me or I feel this monster inside me. And subhan’Allah at the age of 19 I got diagnosed with bipolar and that came with a little bit of relief; I said ok it answers that question what’s inside me. At the same time I had to grapple with my own stigma of getting help, getting therapy, taking meds and once I accepted it I realised there’s a lot of misconceptions in the muslim community regarding this.I find that bipolar has these hidden gems, and sometimes I don’t always see them, sometimes I see the dirt but that’s okay because it’s not all rosey. So I basically use this to help others and to help myself because whenever we help someone and give to them we’re actually receiving a lot of good back.
“I find that bipolar has these hidden gems, and sometimes I don’t always see them, sometimes I see the dirt but that’s okay because it’s not all rosey.”
Q: That is indeed very true, so when you first found out you had bipolar how did you deal with it initially?
S.M: I denied it, I told myself it’s not true, it’s not possible- 2 years I didn’t get help. I thought “I’m not dumb”, “I don’t need these pills”. I treated it like a headache. You know when you have a headache and you take an Advil and it goes away so you stop taking it. I was sick and I took the pills and I got better than I said I don’t need it anymore- but that wasn’t the case.
Q: How has bipolar affected your life?
S.M: On the positive side it has really brought my family together and I’ve seen the opposite for certain people, because of the hardship it has torn them apart. Alhamdulilah supported me and they got me help. The second positive I started the blog. The third positive, bipolar can be a motivator at the same time it compels you to live a better life. For somebody who just takes meds but they do nothing else then the bipolar isn’t going to be treated properly. They have to live a healthier lifestyle, they have to eat better, they have to move more, have good sleep hygiene, have meaningful relationships, go to therapy, have hobbies. So things that any normal person would do to live a better life, people with bipolar have to do that in a more rigorous and a more regular routine. And of course salah is right up there so it’s basically the spirituality and like I have in my blog it’s the ‘heart like heaven’, ‘mind like water’ and ‘breezy body’ so those are the 3 aspects that always need to be balanced. And the cool thing is that as muslims we can use Islam to inform all of those 3 catergories.
Q: As a practising muslim how has your faith helped you with your illness?
S.M: Well number 1, I guess the rule that if we commit suicide we’re going to hell is a really big motivator to stay away from suicide. It is true at the same time that let’s say a person is so far into mania or so far into depression that they’ve lost their insight, in that case when they do something harmful or wrong they have a different scale or they’re going to answer to Allah differently because at that point they don’t know what’s going on. On the other hand when somebody’s within the normal spectrum of bipolar and they feel the occasional sadness or irritability, when they turn to suicide that’s a different story- in that case they know what’s going on. So that’s the number 1 thing how Islam has helped.
Number 2, which is really cool, is that no matter how sick I’ve gotten, subhan’Allah I still know Allah is there. And even at times I feel as if I can’t connect to anybody, I can’t talk to them, I know I can talk to Him and He’s there and He can understand me. Because often my family will be like “Oh you’re going through a hard time, we understand you” and I know they mean well, at the same time deep down I know and I tell them you can’t possibly understand what’s in my head or the world I’m in right now. That’s when I know that Allah understands, because He’s testing me and He knows everything about us. He created us, He knows every emotion, every action, every feeling- He’s knows what’s going on. So that’s very comforting because with mental illness support, the first thing you want is to connect with someone- you want to know you’re not alone and once you pass that barrier it’s very easy to fight this because you feel like your not facing the enemy all by yourself, you’ve got a lot of force behind you. So that’s the second thing, number three is salah. That is my pillar and I’ve learnt it’s the oxygen of the heart- within my breezy body I’m telling myself I have to eat properly, I have to eat at this time, I have to sleep at this time and I have to take a shower. If I don’t shower I’ll start to smell, if I don’t breathe properly I can’t survive and when I don’t pray it’s the same thing with the heart. If I don’t pray my heart’s going to get dirty, it’s going be cloudy, it’s going to be rusted. I know that if I say to myself “Oh I took a shower today I won’t need to shower for the rest of the week” -we would never say that. It’s the same thing as taking a shower once and not doing it again- salah really keeps me grounded, instead of looking at what’s on earth this way or that way, it pulls me up and whatever I’m going through is very temporary so it will all get better inshaa’Allah.
“If I don’t pray my heart’s going to get dirty, it’s going be cloudy, it’s going to be rusted.”
Q: Would say it was difficult letting family members and others know?
S.M: No, my family were very supportive. My family really help they keep an eye out I’ve had it for about 12 years and they know just by looking at my face whether I’m up, down, if it’s really serious, if it’s not. So that’s a blessing because sometimes I can’t even see myself even though I’ve had it for so long it still just pulls you but when you have a mirror and people you can trust it really helps so I recommend that to other people. Because a lot of people with mental illness they isolate themselves, they’re like ‘oh I need some time, I don’t want to burden you etc’.
Q: Based on your experience, what sort of myths exist within the muslim community regarding mental health?
S.M: I can do it alone and it’s just weak imaan and the classic, jinns! Poor jinns, they must be like woah dude you blame me for a lot of stuff!
To someone coming out of chemotherapy for cancer you would never say that you’re a bad person and Allah is punishing you!
Another classic one, sister just pray a little more and it’ll all be fine. You’re sad because you’re not connected to Allah enough. I heard those after from other people and the sad thing was that I had already had those stigmas inside my head and I didn’t know it.
Q: We know that people can often come up with suggestions or remedies for what they believe to be possessions that are… weird to say the least, have you come across any?
S.M: The weirdest one was somebody from Pakistan told my mum you should buy cows liver for 40 days, I think like 2lb per day or something until it adds up to 40 days and she said you bring it home, you rub it on your daughters forearm and then you have to go throw it in a dark place in a park. So that was one treatment. And of course it’s probably prevalent in other muslim countries.
And of course for jinns, a lot of people will do ruqyah or they’ll call someone. The thing to note about that is that when ruqyah is done and the symptoms still persist then that’s no linked to jinns, it’s mental illness or something else. On my blog I have a post that compares mania episodes with jinn symptoms.
Q: What was your main motivation to start your blog muslimbipolar?
S.M: Number 1, I want something that’s sadiqah jariyah when I die I want to keep that going that’s number 1. Number 2- I don’t want anyone to feel the pain that I did because of bipolar and that was mainly that I felt alone. I mentioned before that I had the support of my family, at the same time I needed someone to connect to, somebody who I could call ‘oh they’re like me’. It’s like if your in a non-muslim family and you become muslim, you need to connect with other muslims. It’s not a bad thing or a good thing, it’s just that you need people who when you talk to they know what you’re going through. Within the muslim community I had challenges that were more along the lines of you know faith and praying properly or just dealing with people. So that was different and I wanted to connect with people like that. I still get emails from muslims who have difficulties with alcohol, drugs, unsafe sex and that’s okay but at the same time I can connect with them because of our faith.
Third reason, it’s really fun for me. When I visit blogs from people with mental illnesses they’re just so dark. There’s a girl sitting down awkwardly and her hair is covering all of her face and I think this is bringing me down even more! So I purposely made my blog very light and colourful, tried to put a positive spin or a comic spin on to it.
There’s a lot of good in this test/trial we just have to see it. Even the bipolar eBook that came out the first edition was black and dark and I thought this had to change and so the second edition I made it lighter and called it ‘Blessed with Bipolar’.
“There’s a lot of good in this test/trial we just have to see it.”
Q: Some advice and tips for people suffering with bipolar or people who think they might have bipolar?
S.M: Number 1, get help from the right people whether that’s doctors, psychiatrists, therapists even dieticians. That might include an imam especially if you include spirituality to help you, at the same time be careful which imam you choose. You want someone who’s balanced and who knows what’s going on. Not necessarily someone who knows everything about mental health because that’s not necessarily their domain but just someone who could actually help you but not bring you down and blame you.
At the extremes you need help or your family, put things in place so that when you are sick you’ll have nets that will catch you. And you can’t do that when you’re sick. Nuh (AS) didn’t build the ark when the flood came, he built it before.
Get support which is the part I can come in and help. When faith is not a motivator for you and isn’t something that helps you and you want to connect with non muslims that’s okay as long as someone is competent they can help you. When rasullullah (saw) was making hijrah and the person or the guide who was helping navigate, the guy wasn’t a muslim- he just knew the route and he was trustworthy. So get help, get support and take care of yourself which means the mind, the body, the heart- all aspects. Treating mental illness is really a holistic approach you can’t isolate one thing at just focus on that.
Lastly, laugh at yourself. In the beginning when I would get sick, my family were of course shook up and wouldn’t talk about it and didn’t want to mention it around me. Now we laugh about it when something happens. It’s not that you’re making fun of yourself but you’re dealing with the intensity of that situation and turning it into something funny so that it’s light. When you take a light approach it’s must easier to deal with, it’s not something negative and dark.
And that wraps up the questions! A huge thank you to Saba Malik for checking in with us all the way from Canada.
Saba Malik is a blogger at and founder of MuslimBipolar. She is a teacher, life coach and author of “Blessed with Bipolar- The Muslim’s 3-step support Guide to Mastering Bipolar”. She lives on earth with her husband and their daughter. She loves running, reading and rainy days.
Please visit her website MuslimBipolar where you can download a copy of her free eBook. http://muslimbipolar.com/
May Allah bless you always
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