Name: Monopoly for Millennials.
Manufacturer: Hasbro.
Age: New, just in time for Christmas.
Monopoly for Millennials? Is that a thing? It seems to be. It’s available at Walmart in the US, apparently.
Seriously? Oh yes. Those hacks at Hasbro make Monopoly sets on just about every theme that occurs to them. There’s Mario Kart Monopoly, Back to the Future Monopoly, Isle of Wight Monopoly, Horses and Ponies Monopoly, Wolverhampton Monopoly …
Jumped the Shark Monopoly? I’m sure that’s coming soon.
So what does Monopoly for Millennials involve? Well, it’s just like normal Monopoly, but instead of money you collect ‘experience points’ by visiting such things as a music festival, a farmers’ market, a vegetarian bistro, a bike share, your friend’s couch …
Those are mildly amusing generalisations about people in their 20s and early 30s. They are. Community Chest cards say things such as: “Your free web-streaming trial expires. Pay the bank $40.” Instead of the top hat and the old boot, tokens include an emoji and a hashtag.
Lol. Of course they do. The tagline on the front says: “Forget real estate. You can’t afford it anyway.”
They should include a few jokes about how millennials are incredibly self-righteous. Yeah … um …
There could be a Chance card that says: “You hear of something that offends you. Go and complain on social media. Collect 50 retweets.” It’s funny you should say that, because quite a few millennials have reacted to the game in exactly this way.
You mean they don’t find it relatable? Not all of them, no. “As a millennial who loved playing Monopoly, I’m disappointed @Hasbro made this garbage,” said one Twitter user. “A game that profits off the backs of millennials while simultaneously mocking them? Must have been a baby boomer in charge.”
Ancestors, eh? Who needs them? Hasbro has replied to the complaints with a slightly smug statement, saying: “With many of us being millennials ourselves, we understand the seemingly endless struggles and silly generalisations that young millennials can face.”
So they understand the generalisations … but they also make them? That’s right. It’s kind of hypocritical, I know.
Huh. Only a baby boomer would believe that you can generalise about hundreds of millions of people. You’re probably right.
Do say: “Let’s boycott Monopoly!”
Don’t say: “But how else am I going to know what it’s like to have a mortgage?”