HOW’S ABOUT CLATTS?
The Fiver didn’t get where it is today telling women to know their limits. In the event of being parachuted into such a Harry Enfield dinner party sketch, you wouldn’t find us rolling our eyes if one of the ladies present embarrassed themselves by offering an informed opinion. So when it comes to women’s bodies we are similarly reluctant to tell those who occupy them what they should and shouldn’t do, not least because we don’t know, it’s none of our business and we feel unqualified because our own resembles a wheezing, badly stuffed mattress. A badly stuffed mattress still waiting for its toes to uncurl after hearing former referee Mark Clattenburg expound on the career difficulties likely to be faced by any female officials who might be considering the possibility of having children.
Currently doing the rounds hawking a new book that already needs a new edition featuring a lengthy mea culpa, Clattenburg was a guest on the TalkSport Breakfast and fielding a query about the conspicuous absence of female refs in the Premier League. “The problem with women refereeing in football,” he said, beginning a reply that was never likely to end well, “is they have a difficult path, where if they get pregnant, it can stop them a long way. So they’ve got to make this choice: do they want to be pregnant and have children or do they want to be referees?”
But … what if they want to do both? “Women have to make that sacrifice. Say if they get to a certain level in refereeing and they want to get to that next level ... if you become pregnant, it can cost you two or three years of your life. Once you lose that three years, somebody else takes your position. If you want to have babies, you’ve got to do it early on in your career. If you have a baby, you’re out for nine months, then it takes six months to recover, and to pass that men’s fitness test is very demanding.”
Having decided it would be a good idea to say all that out loud live on the radio, Clattenburg immediately found himself at the centre of a storm entirely of his own making. Assorted female athletes, broadcasters and journalists – some of whom have been unprofessional enough to have children – engaged in the kind of outrageous dissent that will have had the official reaching for his yellow card and pencil. “He referred to it as a ‘problem’,” said Natalie Sawyer, who was helming the following show and cited Serena Williams and Alex Morgan as two examples of athletes who returned to elite sport after giving birth. “It’s not a problem, it’s a challenge for women.” Following his faux pas, one suspects Clatts might fancy a return to his own former post in Saudi Arabia, where he could probably expect his views to go unchallenged by these kind of women with notions above their station.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
“They were there for well over an hour. They’re two of the nicest people I’ve met in football. They made the night” – retiring Wolves groundsman Ken Bates thanks captain Conor Coady and John Ruddy for rocking up at a Lower Gornal drinker for his leaving do.
FIVER LETTERS
“Far be it from me to hold The Fiver to journalistic standards, but it really isn’t much fun watching the pileup on “Po’ Ole (yesterday’s Fiver). One would have thought that a man who appears to lead a happy dressing room, signs exciting players, and has them play a brand of football more enjoyable than anything served up at Old Trafford since the days of Lord Ferg would be worthy of some understanding after a few reverses. He has also demonstrated a capacity for outrageous comedy, but I wouldn’t expect The Fiver to know anything about that” – Matt Richman.
“Two losses in two games? Zero goals scored? A manager who says this latest loss is a ‘strange one to analyse’ and he doesn’t know why the team is so bad? I look forward to a Fiver excoriation of Tommy T, now that Chelsea have replaced Villarreal-victorious Manchester United as the current crisis club” – Alex Frew McMillan.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Matt Richman.
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
A West Brom fan has been jailed for eight weeks after racially abusing Romaine Sawyers, one of the team’s players. Simon Silwood, 50, posted that Sawyers should win the “Baboon d’Or” but denied the offence, telling police his message was “stupid not racial” and claiming autocorrect had changed the word “buffoon”. District Judge Briony Clarke ruled otherwise: “This clearly, in my view, crosses the custody threshold. I assess the remorse you have for your actions as very minimal indeed.”
Former Dutch international Bryan Roy has been sentenced to 80 hours of community service over a social media post threatening outgoing PM Mark Rutte with being shot.
Fifa’s investigation into Wilner Etienne, a former technical director of the Haitian Football Federation accused of raping several young female players, remains unresolved more than year after he was suspended.
Fikayo Tomori and Ollie Watkins have been called up by Gareth Southgate to face Andorra and Hungary in England’s Human Rights World Cup qualifiers. Full squad: Pickford (Everton), Ramsdale (Arsenal), Johnstone (West Brom); Coady (Wolves), James (Chelsea), Mings (Aston Villa), Shaw (Manchester United), Stones (Manchester City), Tomori (Milan), Trippier (Atlético Madrid), Walker (Manchester City); Foden (Manchester City), Henderson (Liverpool), Morris-Dancing Fiver (Fiver Towers), Lingard (Manchester United), Mount (Chelsea), Phillips (Leeds), Rice (West Ham), Grealish (Manchester City); Kane (Tottenham), Saka (Arsenal), Sancho (Manchester United), Sterling (Manchester City), Watkins (Aston Villa).
It’s still not getting better for Ronald Koeman at Barcelona after a 3-0 shoeing in Big Cup at Benfica. “I don’t want to answer any more questions on this because it is not in my hands,” he sighed. “We’ll see.”
Ole Gunnar Solskjær admits Manchester United were fortunate to beat Villarreal thanks to Cristiano Ronaldo’s 95th-minute winner. “We have to throw caution to the wind and we got lucky in the end,” he tooted.
Tommy T is struggling to put his finger on the reason why Chelsea underwhelmed in their 1-0 defeat at Juventus. “We were so good in training yesterday and not good enough, not free enough today,” he lamented. “I don’t know why.”
Arsenal will face Brighton in the Women’s FA Cup last four after routing Spurs, while Chelsea are heading for a meeting with Manchester City.
And Wycombe boss Gareth Ainsworth is the latest victim of the fuel crisis, having had to cycle 20 miles to the club’s training ground on Thursday.
STILL WANT MORE?
Karen Carney reckons Liverpool v Manchester City could be decided by what happens off the ball.
How to pronounce footballers’ names. By Euan Burns.
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