A few months ago, a new member the UK parkrun tourist group pointed out that a lot of the posts were utterly incomprehensible to them because we appeared to be talking in code.  Was there any chance that someone could write a jargon buster to explain some of the shorthand that we were using?

It seemed like a good idea, so I drafted something and asked for feedback from the group.  The following, the combined effort of “an unruly and highly imaginative group of parkrunners”, is the result.  NB – a lot of the more general parkrun terms originate from the parkrun show, still sorely missed.

#aowalc – All one word, all lower case. It’s parkrun.  Not Parkrun, ParkRun, Park Run or any other variant, unless you are deliberately trying to wind someone up, in which case all variants are permitted.  parkrun is the name of Paul Sinton-Hewitt’s (brain) child and it is a courtesy to spell the name the way he has chosen

Alphabeteer / alphabetourist – someone who has done one parkrun for each letter of the alphabet (excluding X)

Cow – see Half Cowell.

Cow cowl – a distinctive black, white and yellow not-buff designed by Kathy Brown which members of the most events table are welcome to buy to allow themselves to be spotted by other tourists at home or away.  Completely unofficial.  Features no parkrun branding whatsoever at all.

Cowell – your 100th different parkrun (your Cowell Club Run) and the point at which you show as having run 100 events on the global most events table. (celebrate with cake)

Cowell Club – an unofficial parkrun club for tourists who have run at 100 or more different events. Named after Chris and Linda Cowell, the first male and female parkrunners to do it.

#dfyb – don’t (under any circumstances) forget your barcode (you muppet).  Or your running shoes, or your shorts, or your passport.

Double dipper – a parkrunner who finishes their race (*giggles*), and then runs through the finish a second time with their spouse, teenage child, ageing mama or friend.

East-Did-Lands – the state of having completed all the parkruns in the East Midlands (see also West-Did-Lands).

Fielding Club – an unofficial parkrun club for tourists who have run at 250 different UK events. (A sufficient, but not necessary, condition for membership of the Freyne Club)

Flash parkrun – you arrive at 8:30am.  No one is in sight.  You double check the course details.  Yes, you’re in the right place.  You double check the country.  Yes, you’re still in England.  You look at the news page.  No mention of a cancellation.  You consult Facebook and Twitter.  Still nothing. You consider whether you have time to get to another parkrun.  No.  Your stress levels rise, until, at 8:55am, a swarm of runners and volunteers arrive, run the parkrun and then vanish leaving no trace. Phew!

Freyne Club – an unofficial parkrun club for tourists who have run at 250 different global events. (A necessary, but not sufficient, condition for membership of the Fielding Club)

Funnel Ducker – a defined by parkrun term (http://wiki.parkrun.info/index.php/Funnel_Ducker), though the term should be Spoonerised if you catch anyone doing it.

Global Cowell – see Cowell.  Usually used only in conjunction with UK Cowell.

Going for a Bailey – trying to run your first 100 runs at 100 different events. Named for Gregory Bailey, the first parkrunner to get hooked on tourism early enough to do it.

Half Cowell (alt. Cow) – your 50th different parkrun (cake!)

Inaugural Chaser – (1) an archaic term for the arcane habit of those that attended many parkrun new events in order to increase their rankings on the Most Events Table; (2) an on-going term for those that like the buzz of attending the 1st running of an event regardless of inclusion on Most Events Table; (3) a contentious term that has multiple meaning to multiple people; (4) the first shot following a pint on a night out.

Lie in – (1) something that existed before parkrun; (2) going to your home run instead of touristing; (3) a tragic accident caused by not setting an alarm correctly.

Lon-done – the fleeting state of having run all the London parkruns. Just don’t ask whether that’s all the parkruns listed as being in Greater London, all the parkruns that are actually in London, or all the parkruns within the M25, because the ensuing discussion will last for days.

nenyd – nearest event not yet done.

Panic jog – a mad dash to the start line when your train runs late, the traffic was bad, or you arrive to find that the start line is 1km from the car park.

parkrunday – the day of the week that falls between Friday and Sunday.

parkrun fresh – your status after you’ve parkrun but before you’ve showered.  A real treat for the lucky soul who sits next to you on the bus / train.

Passionista – a term used by the dear departed parkrun show to describe parkrunners who are so loyal to their home run that they have never run anywhere else.

Regionnaire – someone who has run all the parkruns within a parkrun region.

Quarter Cowell – your 25th different parkrun (cake!)

Somewhat disappointing – how you might describe your parkrunday if you turn up to find that your parkrun of choice has been cancelled or moved to a different venue.  Different parkruns use different channels to communicate their news, so remember to check the parkrun event’s news page, their twitter feed, their facebook page and the cancellations page on wiki.parkrun.info.

Three-Quarter Cowell – your 75th different parkrun (cake!)

Tourist Quotient – a measure of how loath a tourist is to repeat a parkrun. Either (number of different venues)/(total number of runs) or (number of different venues – 1)/(total number of runs – 1)

True Tourist – anyone who visits (or has visited) other parkruns, whether you do it because you parkrun wherever you happen to be or because you travel specifically to parkrun.  Once a tourist, always a tourist, even if you’ve now settled down to a new life as Event Director.

Uber-tourist – anyone on the most events table.

UK Cowell – your 100th different UK parkrun (more cake!)

Voluncheering – marshalling and cheering.

Voluntourism – volunteering at an event that isn’t your home run.

West-Did-Lands – the state of having completed all the parkruns in the West Midlands (see also East-Did-Lands).

Yorkshire Pud-done – the state of having completed all the parkruns in Yorkshire and the Humber.