We never know what people are coping with at home. There are a plethora of challenges facing us in life, including being a parent, and being a parent to a child that is struggling is that bit harder.
One of my children has experienced particularly acute challenges. He experienced a traumatic health event when he was young. He became non-compliant at school, and at home. He was excluded from a young age, and later had to change schools when he came home with bruises from incorrect use of restraint - which made everything worse, and made school traumatic. He would continually run away from school. He has an EHCP and one to one support, but there was no classroom or school fence that could hold him. When covid hit, we didn't feel the school was properly supported, and we had to remove him as we felt he was unsafe.
Eventually, he ended up in a specialist SEMH provision where he still managed to escape, and sadly as his time came to an end there, he experienced something so traumatic we felt the need to refer it to the police. Again, school was not a safe space, and was in fact traumatising.
Today, he is starting to thrive at a specialist secondary unit.
What support did he get? The provider of child mental health services within the NHS is CAMHS. He was referred to CAMHS repeatedly, and rejected repeatedly. He was eventually accepted after escalation, whilst at home and unable to access education. After a brief assessment, he was again discharged. The closing statement of his discharge letter is in the picture, and included:
"We will be happy to consider re-referral in future once the function of his behaviours is better understood" - there were no other services that would understand him - CAMHS was our only route. That was the end of our NHS journey.
We were fortunate to be able to pay for a private paediatric psychiatrist, and our child came away with 5 separate diagnosis, a prescription, and confidence that the appropriate time had been taken, and that the answer felt right. This prescription, and detailed understanding of our child has changed our lives.
What would I Iike people to take away from this?
1) As leaders, please create a safe place for your employees to be honest about the challenges in their lives, and offer them all support and flexibility possible. We're all generally doing our best.
2) NHS mental health (and other) services are incredibly underfunded. I am desperate to see this properly addressed, so robust mental health support is not limited to a privileged few who can self fund. This is applicable to both the NHS, and to support available to schools.
3) If you see a child being "naughty", please try not to judge. We have no idea of the journey the child and parents have been on.
4) On a plane, you're instructed to put your own mask on first. Never be afraid to seek mental health support for yourself.
#mentalhealth #neurodivergent #timetotalk #anxiety #autism
Transformational Product Management Leader | Customer Centered | Mission Driven
7moWhat an important investment in Cartwheel to address this growing - and ongoing - challenge faced by children, families and schools. A scalable framework available throughout a child’s education is a game changer.