' . ___-^&i!)!Mti^Tm----~----•----■----
Ring the Bell Verger i.
i>ueen Street Girls 2.
Jolly Jack c.
Ole King Cole 4,
The Tinker ; •
The Alphabet *.
Vbdttl Abulfoul Anir V,
How the Money Rolls in f .
rhe Sexual Desires of the <J mel 9
The PCeyhole in the Door 10
Orthuaalem 11
The Wheel It:
Hi. Jig -a~ Jiy 10
rr. Flshernrn 14
?:obile &5
Cats on the Koof Toys l<">
i=r. FlnkXenteln * IV
The 3f;irrcer (n^y^) 18
Caviare ' X9
The wood'necke^ 20
0tR»ilXy,3 Daughter 21
Lady Jane • 22
Brian Barrue 23
Portion of a L- dy 24
Lady An/Celine 2b
3aloa» 26
Life presents a Dicnel Picture '*?t
rhe Good'Shi:- Venus (>art l) 28
*- ■«• ■« M ( ." 2) ::9
The Gay oavallcro SO
Thone Foolish Things *«$$<«** ;j.i
The B-ll of Kiricraiir Z>Z
he 12 days of ubriajnaas 35
:aai - a - (?a rud 34
Lid la link 35
'we'll mild a ]un{;alov; - t^nfti", 36
At The Earting of i>y Stays 37
air Kofjer 08
Shit All Hound the Boon v 39
■; J- RIWQ TH3 K3IL \TX:;G^?.
UH0R8S-
Ring the bell verger,ring the i;ell
ring
perhaps the uon*n,egatlon nill condescend
to sing
Perhaps the fucking organist slttine on
his stool
v ill jjlay uj>on the oro&n and not upon
his tool
1*
Down in the garage the chauffer lies
Hie masters v/lfe beyween his thighs
Suddenly a voice ic heard from afar
Sto. fucking wife .-fezstart flicking c r
2. " u
Dp in the belfry the bellringer stands
Pulling on his wire with hia ftcking
great hands
Suddenly a voice is heard full of hope
Stop gulling wire <± s rrt pulling rope
3.
[Down in the gr veyard the gravedigger
I kneels
'Belting a choirboy his trousers round
| hie heels
Suddenly a voice io heard full of soul
U3top frigging choirboy<jf start dl&fing
k- ■ ■ " hole.
2. 'W^W '■'■&"•*& GIHLS.
1. we
»7o are of ciueen street,good L'lrls apt
vie know the jungo of virginity
V/e take precautions,i>revcnt abortions
?e arc the Oueen Street Girls
Ta ra ra ra . *........
2
Our hor dmirtreoo she is a bitch
Uhe only does itwhen she starts to
itch
She feeds us bv -ndy,rakes uo feels
randy
We are the v,ueen Street Girls
"a ra ra ra....
3.
our headmaster he io a brick
lie has a very very email prick
Alright for lieyholea^vjee lacoies
peehojej
LBut not for the t'ueen Street Gills
Ta ra ra ra,..
4.
Our head porter he Is a fool
Jie has a very phenoninal tool
Alright for tunnolo,uueen Hurya Funmi
But not for the uueen Street Girls
Ta ra ra ra...♦
f>.
Our Read jloner he is no nice
Trundleo Vila penis uuing a vice
v;« use a candle, he turne the handle
We avt: Wk* Q $ Q
3 JOIXY JACK
OBORUS-
Jolly Jack stood U|.walked down thealcl
with his organ on his back - Jaek
The parson from the pulpi> said
You can wait- that organ back -Jack
You can waltz that organ back,
1.
The parson of a aockside church
Got up one day and aaid
Some dirty bastard's shit himself
1*11 punch his fucking head
s»They started of with Hearts of Oak
And they finished with Old Xang syne
The parson from the pulpit said
You have had your flicking tune*
'•The Verger read the village news
Aiaid three rousing cheers
fers Browji he said,had just conceived
After 15 fuoklng years
*»Th« parson from the pulpit sal*
We*ll now pass round the plate
"hen someone from the back cried out
You•re far too fucking late
5,The offering was then received
It really was absurd
Sixteen annas,one rupee and
A great frig steaming turd
, 6*lovc thy neighbour na the text
The Parson Made t' is clear
Kindlyness and, thoughtifulneas
Or I'll punch'your fucking oar,
**- om KI1IG GaL^»
CHOI5J3-
Old king Colo was a bugger for his ole
And a bugger for his hole .as he
He called for hio wife in the middle
of the night
And he calls for his fiddlers three
How every Fiddler has a fine Fiddle
And A very fine fiddle has be
0n fiddle when you like,when yoji like
Cried the Flgflore
For merry raorry men are we
'here's none so fair as can eorspare
• ith the *uoys of the............ down
2. mint or s - Fine brush-slap it up &tu
3.Butchers-fine blOGk-beah it on the bl
4.Tn.ilors-fine needle-whip it in &out
b.coulrmn-flne bag- ahovc it in the
hoU at the back
6,Jugglers-fine balls-throw your balls
in the air
7, Huntsmen-fine horn- I've got the Hor
$ Tiia Tli«KSH.
UHORUS-
With hia bloody great kidney wiper
And his balls the size of three
And a yard and a half of foreskin
hanging down below bis knee
hanging down ...» inches thick
Swinging free.... what a prick
with a yard and a half of foreskin
Hanging down below his knee.
1.
Oh, a 1: dy in her boudoir
was a dressing for the ball
v?hen she spied a tinker
iIssing up against the wall
2'T%m lady wrote a le ter
And in It she did say
She'd rather be fucked by the tinker
Than his lordship any day
5%,rhe tinker goU the letter
The tinker read It well
his balls began to fester
And his prick began to swell
S 4.
He jumped upon hits charger
And on it he did ride
ills balls upon the saddle
And hie foreskin by his side
5, He rode into the courtyard
He rode into the Ball
Oor-bliiaey 8; id the butler
he has come to fuck us all
6.
lie stuffed them on the staircase
He fucked them in the hall
But the butler in the pantry
Was the dirtiest fuc£ of all
7.
The tinkers dead and gone nov?
He's buried in St. feuls
It took four and twenty nen
To carry $us> hio balls.
8.
3orae say he went to hoaven
Some say he went to hall
Some Say he fucked the devil
If he did he'd fuel; hln well,
4 Tm ALPHABET.
A la fornarseHole all covered in ahit
Hey ho oayo Holy
H*s for the bastard whsf revels In It
With a roly-poly garsrcon & spinach
Hey ho cays Antony Roly ;
£*e for the cunt all dri;ping in pir>s
X)&b for the drunkard who gave it a ilos *
m is for 3unock with only one oral "" ;
F 8s for the fucker with no balls at all)
6 is for goitre(gonorrhoea and gout ;
fit is for harlot who opreads it about
I *s for the inkspots which makes your
bails itch
J*a for the jerk of a dog on a bitch
X is for klngbrll whictt. hrngo to the fl 1
■■J* is for lazy licentious whore* -oor I
M is for maidenhead all tattere* & torn I
II * s for the noble who died on the horn
O »b for the orifice already revealed ,
;T *s for the penis so readily jeeled
% *s for the quaker who shit in his hat
:R is for roger who rogered the oat
S is for the shitpot full to the brira ft(ft
T»a for the turds that are floating ther
U*s for the usher who ushered in school '
;?••» for the verger who plays with hi a too
[■W's for whore v/ho t^ouaht fuckinga farce
|And X Y Z you can stuff u ) your arse*
7 mwL Amgjfljx aihi^.
Tho Haruras of iigypt are great, to behold
The worsen are fairest of fair
But the faireet a greek she was ovmed
by a sheik
name* Abdul A*..A...
A travelling brothel v;ao brought to
the tovm
By a Russian v/ho cane from afar
He issued a challongo >o all who could
fuck
Did Ivan 8.... S...,
The g.ectaclc great was fixed on a date
And the visit was i^id by the Tsar
The street they lined by nhores entwine*
Of Ivan S. ....S....
Now they sood ou the track with their
tools hanging slac.
The starters gun ro: red in the air
They were quick on the rise the crowd
gasped with surpriii
At the tool of Abdul Abulbul Anir
How the whores they rchere shorn no
French lettore were worn
And Abdul he fucked like a Tsar
Bit he just couldn't coi;e with the slow j
easy stroke |
1 Of Ivan S.....S.....
Now the contest was won,he v/as cleaning
hia gun
And he stooged to plcl; uv his bear
Now the crowd thought it mean
and the queen she turned green
They were ordered to part by the Tsar
But alas they were stuck .it was
fuck£ng hard luck
On Ivan S.. 3...
Now the cream olftthe joke, it was when J
they were broke,
They were laughed e.1 by years by the
Tsar "
For Abdul the fool left the flange of
his tool
Up Ivan S....S. ;..«..
1 8 }jcr th ; iieflEiY **olls IN.
Hy father makes counterfeit money
ity mother brews synthetic gin
.■.°y sister sells kisaes to sailors
l$r gord how the money rolls in
Rolls in, rolls in, my gord how the
money rolls in.
2
wmT l$r brother* s a slum missionary
Saving youn/j virgins from sin
Ho*11 save you a blond for a shilling
!# gord how the money rolls in
3
lay aunt keeps a girls seminary
Teaching young cirls to begin
She doesn*t 3ay where they are to
finish
tty gord how the Money x*olls in
9 Tli^ SS2CUAL PSSIiiaS OF A CAM5SL,
The sexual desires of a camel
Are stranger than anyone thinks
For the life long desire of the IHH88i
Was to mount and bugger the sphinx
But the sphinx's sexual organ
Was blocked by the sands of the Kile
Which accounts for the hump on the cai^t
And the sphinx* © inscrutable smile
Intensive researches at Oxford
By Harrington,Huxley,and Hall hedgnhog
Have proved that the prickly wee *
Eas hardley been buggered at ail
And further exhaustive inquires
Have incontravertially shown
That cmwiparative safety at Oxford
Is enjoyed by the hedge hog olone.
5.
Don* tell my dadd,v I*m a virgin
Dont tell my mother I'M pure
Dont tell my sister I'm chant©
For the shock it would kill them I'm
sure
*ere a family of harlots and qu-queres
Established in »73
And they've all had part in the buslneg
And the f>Mf exception 5» me-
to mmmmx ik thj boo;;.
CK0KU8
Oh the keyhole in th© door,tho keyhole
In the door
I took np tny position by the orholc
In the door
£• The party finished oarly,t*rcas only
half iaat nine
And by a stroke of bloody Afood luck
her room was next to mine
3o jU3t liko Ghri8.Colur.ibus I decided
to explore
And took xtu ray position by the keyhole
in the door
^•She sat down by the fireside her
1 illy white toes to warn
And only a flimsy ohitisy concealed her
n ked forn
If onli' ahe would take it off what mm
coulti e.Bk for more
By chriet I saw her do it by the
keyhole in the door
3"3ith soft :-in€ fcre^iblina fingers X
ox?ened up the door
And then with dainty footsteps i crept
across the fllor
And so that no on© else vjould see
t c*.,«»x. * v/hat * had 3een before
I stuffed fear lillyv/hite shlway throuh
the keyhole in tho door
4." ' : .....
That night I slept in rapture and
something else besides
And on that llllywhlte boceom had
many a blissful ride
when I awoke next morning my penis
felt so sore"
I felt as if l«d stuffed it through
the keyhole in the door
5.
So come all ye astronomers you men
who are eo wise
Ye men who scan the heavans v;lth
telescopes to your eyes
I will tell you onenthing and I»ll
tell you ones thing more
You're telescope's got fuck all on the
KEYHOLE Ili THE DOOR.
fflKfftyg KCY ho Or.thusalen,Cafch..Cathus.
* » " "the h: riot of
Jerusalem
'I.In ancient days there was a maid
Of low repute,a prostitute
v/ho did a* roaring,v'horin* trade
In the streets of old Jesrusalein
2« Along :;hore came v. student tall
v.'ho only though he had one ball
He*d been around ?md fucked theii all
The Ik-.rlot.te s of Jerusalem
3. one night returning from a spree
This }restitute he chanced to see
And not without his u:.mal fee
Accosted f ir cathus< leia
4, She tool: hin to her favourite nook
And fror* his hiding place be took
A :enis Shaped just like a hook
The i-jridc of all Jeruaaler.!
5. The student ran was out for fun
%d ohoo-Mng like a Lewis «si
He oowod tho need of mn^ a oon
TrtSide tho fair Cathusalom
6.
Along there carae an l3hmr.llfce
A dirty sod,a filthy shite
Who had arranged to spend the night
On top of poor Cathusalem
7.
The student m n he knew his right
lie turned and grabbed >he lehraalite
And stuffed him up with all his might
The arsehole of Cathusalem
8.
Cathusalem she knew hor part a .
She closed her cheeks and blew loot ff?4&
And out he flew just like a dari,
Over fair Cathusalem
9.
And buzzing like an angry bee
He caught his bollocks on a tree
And there they hang for all to see
The Scorn of all Jerusalem
10.
So all you men v/ho know no fear
Of-syphilis i nd gonorroea
You'll find then nixed with diarrhoea
Xrt the belly of Cathuaaiera..
12.; TIB whksl" "
An old man told me before he died
How I know that the bastard lied
He hud a wife. vilth a cunt go wide
She could never toe satisfied
So he hullt a great big wheel
Two balls of brass and a ^ rich of steel
The balls of brass were fillod with
And the whole fucking issue ( cream
was driven by a team
Round and round went the bloody great
In L wxb went the prick ofoteel( wheel
Till v.t las;, the maiden cried
3noM£h,enough, I'n satisfied
Nov v/e como to the bl tor- bit
There \vas r»o v/ay of stopping It
And the was a;, J. it frop otm1 , " tit
And the whole fucking lssu* ■ j covered
in sweet violet©, sweeter, than
the roses
Covered all over from head to toe
Covered all over in SUIT,
U HI JIG A JIG*
CKovrus-
Singing hi jig a jig,fuck a little pig
follow the bind
Follow the band toon* with cock in your
Singing hi jig & jig,fuck & ( t^*"3
little pig follow the b nd
Follow the br nd all the way
X, ity old nans a joiner,ajolner,a join*
A bloody fine joiner is he
All day he screws in,(3 lines)
And v?hen he comes hota© he screws ne
2*ly old mans a printer (3 times)
A bloody fine printer, is he
All day long he fas^iEilies,(3 times)
And when he comes hoiae he'faos'rae.
v®auam. old mans a taxidermist ece.
A bloody fine one is hex
All day he stuffs animals, etc
And when he comes home he stuffs we.
4.
#y old mans b Jockey etc
A bloody fine jockey is he
All day he rides horses etc,
And when he comes home he*rides* me
cnomjo
Singing hi-tiddly-hi,ahit or bust
Hover let your bollocks dangle in the
1« dust*
Good morning i<r» Fisherman
How do you do
Have you ;\ loboter
That I can bu# fvom you
S» Yes I have
I have two
One for ne
A>nlT the other one for you
u* Oh I took the lobster horne
And I couldn't find a dish
So I put 1;; in the xluce where the
niarsus has a piss
4* in tho Riddle of the nidht
I'll have you 1-now
The miaous she o«t ^i
To use the so - and - so
5.
The lobster gave a wrlgglo
The missus t;ave a grunt
*nd there was the lobster
Hanging fron her cunt
*The mlnsus' grabbed the stick
And I grabbed the broom
Ani we chased the fucking lobster
All around the room
7. Oh we hit it on the head
And we hit it on the aide
Oh we hit that fucking lobster
'Til the batsard died
The moral of the story is very clear
to see
Always have a shifty before you a have
a pee
9*
This is the end
There isn't any more
There's an ar-le up * y arse
And you can have the core.
1. Oh the eagles they fly high in Mobi:
in tt
;rN It n H H ft M
Oh the eagles they fly high
And they ahlt right in your eye
Ita a good job cows dont fly in robile,
2.
Sherssa nancy hoy called Hunt in J/obilc
w » h n a h mm
There* a nancy boy called Hunt
Who thinks he*a got a cunt
But his arsehole*s back to front * x
in J'obile
3 ---—------■---■--------:-----------
There's a shortage of good bogs in £obi
« n * » H » wnobile
« mhiih b0g8
So they wait tint 11 it clogs
Then they saw it up in logs in feobile
4Theres a shortage of bog pax^er in •
So they blow it off In vapour
Then they light it with a taper in *
5
*A11 the girls they weswrtin pants •»
« « « » it » »ln noun
" ■ « » wear tin pants
But they take them off to dance
Every bugger gets his ehanoe in J'Obile
S»
Oh the Lord Mayor he«s a bugger in •
Mil it n ttti tt tt it
• w « * « » bw'/^r
And the Town Clerk he's an»i ■.;■■:
So they bugger one anather *: jbile.
?♦
There's a shortage of good whores in tfo
m « ♦» » » n "bile
* ♦» « • » whores
dut theres keyholes in the doors
And theres knotholes in the floors
in MOBILE,
li> CATS OK THS ROUP TOPS,
* OEOKUS
Cats on the roof tops,cats on the tiles
Cats with sypliilli8,eats with piles
Cats with their arse holes wreathed in
smiles
As they revel in the joys if fornication
9 Dogs on the seashore,dogs on the rocks
Dogs with syphillia,dogs with pox
Dogs with great big festering cocks
As they revel in the joys of fornication
I.
The armadillo in his shell
Can»t get a hard on very well
But when he does he gives it hell
As he revels in the joys of fornication
2.
The poor old donkey is a solitary noke
He very seldom gets a poke
But when he does he lets it soak
As he revels in the toys of fornication
'The hippopotamus so it seams
Very seldom has wet dreams
But whes he does ho coiaes in streams
As he revels in the joys of fornication
4* i
The poor old tiger is so moronic | tonic
Heonly has a poke now and then as a *»
But when he does its supersonic
As he revels in the joys if fornication
j.^ -
w «
When you wake up in the morning with a
big oock -stand
Its the heat of the blanket on the
prostate gland
If yuor wife wont have it,then damn it
use your hand
And you*11 revel in the joys of fornicat
VTnen you wake up in the xaoming full
of sexual joy
And your wife says no nd jour eldest
daughters coy
Then just shova it up the arse hole of
your eldest boy
And you'll revel in the joys of fornicat
ion I
'7 &r. wwmimzm.
OEoeus -
The sod,the dirty old sod,the bastard
deserves to die**, but,, fuck him
let tie pray.. Glory,Glory hallelujah
Sing balls to fer. Finklostein, etc
Balls to Mr.Finkeatein, the dirty oldsod
He Iteeve us witing while hes imstorbat
Ball! to Mr. Finkestein the B. O.SSing
1.
There was a monk of great renown (3 tin
Who met a virgin in the town. es)
2.
He took her to his secluded cell
And said by gad ISil fuck you well
3.
He lay her on his illy white bed
And fucked her and fucked till she w»e
dead
4.
Hie brother raoi&s bowed their heads in
snaaae
So he roiled her over and did it again
5.
His brother raonks grew tired of his
frolics
So,they took a great knife & out of his
Bolllcks,
_______________ CAVIAR,,. ]~<\,
Caviare crimes foom the virgin sturgeon
The virgin sturgeon1 s a very fine fish
The virgin sturgeon needs no urgln'
That*a why caviare is iny dich
JL •
I gave caviare to my rooater
He h'.d nigh on forty wives
Sow ? y rooster needs no booster
Should see those hens run for they live*
2.
I gave caviare to ay girl fiiend
She was a virgin stouch and true
If your girl frltnd needs eosie urgin»
Just c?ive her r>o-ie caviare too
3.
I gave caviare to ry grandma
He was nigh on ninty uhree
The last '-.ixae I saw dear old grand pa
Me was chasing grandma u;, a tree
4.
I gave caviare to ray grandiaa
8n.tt was nigh on ninety two
The last time I saw dear old grandiaa
She had the broom stuck up hex flue
5*
I gave caviare to ay uncle
He*d been sterile all his life
Even caviare wouldn't cure hin
VhrMik the lord I»ci not Ma wife
6. I gave caviare to n&:" auntie"
Auntie48 age wae ninety five
Now she lives on eggs and sherry
Benzidine and Spanish Fly*
The morel of this story ia plain to see
When out with your girlfriend on a spree
Don't have a breakdown in your oar
Justglve her come caviare*
Jo g**a OCOHSCKBK* ~~~hole
f^ stuffed ajy finger up a woodpeckers »
he woodpecker sair'cor bless my sole
Take it out ( 3 times ) i?eraove it
1 removed*.put it back* .replace it it
3. I replaced..turn it round**revolve.11
4. T revolved*, turn it round .rotate it
5. X rotated..in & out**reciprocate It
6*1 reciprocated .. thats enough*.
reclnd it*
21 O'TiSIUX'S BAUGHriffi*
CHORUS
ttppy-i*oh,yippy-i-ay,yi:iy-i-oh for
the one-eyed Reilly
Sub it up,stuff it up,balls and all
Stuff it up your eld bass drum
•1. as I was sitting by the fire
Drinking O'tteillyo run & water
Sud enly a tVou'ht caiae to ray head
I'd never shagged oNoillys daughter
2.
Grabber the mid en by the hair
And then I threw ry right leg over
Not a word did the maiden say
Laughed like ruok till the jobwras over
3.
Heard a footstox> on the stairs
There he stood the one eyed Kellly
Bloody great instils in his hand
Looking for the mm who shagged his
4. daughter
I grabbed O'Reilly by the balls
Shoved hio head in a bucket of water
Stuffes his pistols up his arse
A daraneri sight quicker than I ohaggea
his daughter
5.
Now O'Reilly's dead and gone
Jilta on earth you* 11 sec no nor© eir
We took half hio coffin lid
To wend the holl in the shithouee door
sir.
......*z. lady mm
(Tune For tfcose In peril on the sea) (
X*
It really broke the family's heart
When Lady Jane be care a tart
But blood is blood and race is race
And so to save the family«e face
They formed a most exclusive flat
wit?-? welcome r/ritten on the mat
2.
It hurt the family eben more
Whe» Lady Jem© became a whore
They felt felt they could aofr do again
What they had done for Lady Jane
So they found a iso^t e~elusive beat
On the shady side of (fenqyn Street
3,
It was not to the family»s fancy
#ben Montague became a nancy
In order that they might project them
They had tattooed upon his reetuia
though other folks nety travel steerage
This passage is reserved for peerage. *
2V. BRIM? BAlflTO.13-
1.
I was ux> to me yockaters in nude sir
Doing "ray bit in the bog
/hen me spade efcuuclt on eoi.iething quite
Like a bit of bog oak or alo#ic.rd otr,
2,
*Twao an ancient Irish old chest air
And not knowing what in it I»d find
I chanced ma luck v.iub the fairies
And took a wee,peep inside.
3.
•Twas an ancient Irish french letter
And what I an saying* is true
'Twas an ancient oltf Irish fronch le -te:
A relic of Bi-lan Barrue
4.
Twas an ancient old Irish frenchletter
V&6c of oik hide tin full a foofc tall
With a little brass plate at the end si:
Wi'hie name and his stud fee and all
S.
So I cast me raind back through the ages}
To the days of that hoary old C*lt
And I saw bis dear wife on the bed air
And Brian Barrue in his pelt, -ly
«*And l heard hiia remrking quite plain
•Sow darling lets get this thine right
L- at night you h?v3 your own ay dear
♦Tis the hairy 3ide outside tonight!
l*- *-OHTIOEr OF A uOMS*
(Tune»The pollcemans lot In not a happy
one- Urates of lenaance*)
1.
Mow the portion of a woaan that appeals
to Bian*s depravity
Is constructed with considerable care
For what at first appears to be a
simple little cavity
Is really an elaborate affair
2*There•s tho vulva,the vagina and the
little perinaeura
And the hymen sometimes found in
certain brides
And lots of other jolly things if only
we could see them
The clitoric and the lord knoev/s what
3. besides
How i3n*t it a pity c-hen we Idle
people chatter
Of the wondrous things that nature has
conferred
That we give to.such adellcate and
complicate^ matter
loh a short an unattractive little word*
2.5 ftrjris^ maSLxas
1.
She was sweet X6 and the village queen
Always dancing on the village green.ll
Was a virgin still,never knovm the thri
Ifcor little Angelina v
The village squire had but on© desire
To be the dirtiest bastard in the
old darnn- shire
. He had «et hlo heart on the vital iiart ;
Of poor little Angeline L
3*
A> the harvest fair, the squire was thex *■
l&sturbating in the village square
When he ohaacee to see the dainty knee
Of poo* little Angeline
4, dirt
As she raided her.skirt to avoid the
And stop--jed between the puddles of the
squires last scjirt
The sight he saw radc hie penis raw
For poor little Aniline
80 he raised his hat and said yourcat
lias been run over and is squashed quite
!.$r car is in the aqaure & I'll (flat
take you there
l-oor little togalinc
6~.---------.-----—-------------- --
So he took her to an inn where he filled
her with in
Till, Angeline was tem ted ln"o sin
Then he took her into a dell where he
planned to give herta*
Poor lib tie Angeline hej.1*
?• untold
How the blacksmith bold with faith M
Loved Angeline since she was 6 yr old
He was fugged at the dance for coming in
his pants
For poor little Angeline* ",
B.
fifow the blacksmiths cell overlookes the
very dell
Where the squire had planned on giving
Annie hell
And there in the grass lie sort of
recognised the arse -
Of poor little Anfeline* i
*• fart i
3o with all his heart he realeased a
And blew the prison walls a mile apart
Then he ran like shit case the squire '
t>oo* little Agellne. should sulit
10.
yVhen he got ot the spot & saw what was i
Se tied the villians penis ((( what j
in a bloody gree>tkteit ]
To add to the fame he got a kick up the I
frewa Poor little Angeline. ({( arse ]
11.
She said *0h blacknmiih true I do love
you
I can tell by your trousers that you
love me true
md without a pause he'd removed the
drawers
Of poor little Ageline.
12.
: Mow I wouldn't be wrong if I8d ended
this oong
Jy saying he'd a penis nigh on 2ft long
knd hi 8 sexual charm w?aa ae bravmy as his
ana
WGM LITTL*; AB03LI16S.
U saiom.
Oh Salome Salome you should see Salome
Dancing there with her arse all bare
Svery little wrigL'l© raakes the boys all
She swings it she flings it, stare
And the boys all raumer oh
& the old sphinx winks & blinks & blink
Right down where the sandbars grow
She's a big fat cow twice the slse of me
iHLfc'- hairs on her belly like the branch
on a tree
She can run ,Jurap fight fuck wheel a
barrow
push a truck,Tha^'s ray girl Salome
1 Oh she widdled & she Waddled and she
___ _________■__.. shit upon the floor
Then she wiped her arse on the nob of
f the door
. The she ran around the room on the
ni-pie of her tit
& she carved her name in the red hot
Why did she do it nob dy knows,(( shit
! thats the way the story goes
Monday night she takes it up her noee
- Tuesday night down between her toes
4 ' enneaday night she fucks like hell
* Thursday night she does as well
Friday night she takes it up her nose,
in between her fingers,down between her
Saturday night she fucks like hell
.And she goes to church on Sundays.
I
27 Llff^ HIBSS3JTS A PIS AX rlQWRS.
l*une- Austria.
1.
Life presents a dismal picture
Dark and dreary as the lor*
Father has a penal stricture
Mother has a fallen womb
Sister Mary* s rwn3truatlon
Floods the countryside for the milos
Jfve a joyless occupation
Crushing ice for Grandma* s piles
2.
Brother Bill has been deported
For a sodomistic crime
illster Anna's been aborted
For the twenty seventh time
Little Willie's in the md house
Pat her sa^/a hef8 there Cor eood
find it was the specialists verdict
Too ra&ch pulling of his r*ud
3.
But we are yet dovmheartod
But ?#e are not doT?n and out
Grrnndiaa has just been Mid farted
31ovm her arsehole inside out
Uncle got a double rupture
trying hard to stuff himself
Life pdresents a disral picture
Thank the Lord for national Health
2i TB3 GOOD SHU VSBU3 tvabtl)
4. m
Twae on the good ship Venus
By gad you should have seen us
The figure head was a n»id in lied
And the roast a rampant penis
*.•
The cabin boy named Ki per
He was a little riv.r«r
He stuffed his arse with broken glass
And circumcised the skipper
S.
The captains daughter Mabel
When efcer she was able
Would give the crew their weekly screw
•Upon the ohartroom table
4.
The stoker on tMe lugger
He was a dirty bugger
We wasn't fir to shovel shit
From ohe ship to another
5.
The boson's name was Mor/jan
By Christ he was a gorgon
He'd play all night to the crews delight
Upon Ms sexual organ
6.
The first mates naise was Carter
Be was a bit of a farter
He could play anything from 'God save *fc
the King*
To •Beethoven's Moonlight sonata»
7. .........
The stewards name was Lester
He was a virgin tester
Ills golden rule was 'Insert tool
And leave it there to fostor
•fi.
The pilots nun© was Tofrus
#e ntuffed hie arse with ..hoshorous
Ikt dead of night without a light
•He steered us through the Bosporus
V\ Tigi good sptt vimm (-part 2 )
CHBKUS- . ..
Frit eing in the rigging, frigging in the
irigring, frigging ^n the riggi»6i™eres
!fuck all else to do
1.
The ship vras off Saisoa
The ere*? they swam aohore
{They filled the guts of the nafclbe sluts
1 With poire spermatozoa
o
Swc.s in the Adriatic
iThe shiv> was nearly static
The rise and fall of cock and ball
Was x/urely au&oraatic
ok Twas off the China station
; \,'e made our re pu tat ion
We sank, a junk in a sea of spunk
—| By oursnunal iaasturbatlon
3c. TOES PAY CAVAXI 0vO
1*
There onoe was a gay cavallero
An exceedingly gay cavallero
The pride of his life it wasn't hiu r-if
But his alto#xaoraito»in&refto
2.
He went to a lov? dovm casino
An exceedingly low down casino
Wishing to use hir» alto tmrtlo
His alto, crlalto, raarlno
3.
E® there met a fair senorota
An exceedingly fair senorita
Who trod on the end of his alto mrefto
fcls A H K etc
4.
They went to a lowdtn/n knookanoppo
An exceedingly " *•
And there he did uae his Alto aarfftfc
His A fc t etc
5.
He got a stiff dose of poxeeto
An exceedingly strong dose of poxeeto
Right on the end of his alto marie
Bis A Jft ii
«♦ Now he sits on the banks of the Hlo
The exceeding!, e low * "' " *
end plays wif h the stura of his alto M
Tne moral is thai It is better
Always to wear a french letter
Right on the end of your alto Eerie
32. YHJ BALL Off KIH3SMJIH.
fflWff,,
Singing balls to your v>artner
Arse against the ran
If you never get fucked on a Slit Night
You never get fucked at all
1*
Pour ana twenty virgins
oarne down from Inverness
And whon the ball was over
i'here were four & twenty less
2.
They were fuelling in the hallway
fucking on the stairs
You couldna 3ee the carpet
For the ainsa of curly hairs
5*
They were fucking by the haystack
fucklnij in the ricks
You souldna hear the aisic
?orj| the swishing of the priokB
4*
The village vicar he was there
He wasna feeling well
He had to pass hi# water
In the middle of reel
s.
The vicars wife she was there
she was dressed in blue
?hey tied her to a barn door
And sainted her like a *coo{ *'
6. ;------------------' :'
The vicars daughter she was there
she had them all in fits
Jumping fro?'; the mantelpiece
And landing on her tits
?.
Iftie vicars son he was there
He was only eight
He couldna fuck the women
do he had to masturbate
8.
The village blacksmith ho was there
His arse was up for hire
Every time he crossed the room'
It spat out flames of fire
9.
Ths vlUag e taaagician he was there
He did his usual trick
Of pulling his foreskin over his head
And vanishing up hia prick
10,
The undertaker ha was there
In tall silk hat and shroud
Swinging from the caandileir
And plising on the crowd
11.
The village idiot he was the e
Be was a simple soul
Be pushed hid head between his legs
And whistled up his hole
"'1:-'...... ■ ----.......-................
The village uootman he was there
Ue had a done of pox
lie couldna* fuck the woraen
so he stuffed a letter box
13.
The village cripple he was there
lie YJasnd' up to rauch
Ee couldna* fuck the women
3o he stuffed thera with his crutch
14.
The village acrobat he was ther
Trying to lead the band
Conducting with hir xonis
v/hllc he balanced on one hand
Hi.
The Chinese student he was there
He did nought but cry
5*or every cunt ran from arse to tit
/aid not one from thigh to thigh
16.
The local surgeon he was there
His scapel in his hand
And every time the nasi ; stopped
He eurcumoised the "band
IV.
The doctor and the midwife
v;ent out to see tho moon
There* 11 be another bas'-ard
Floating dorm the sewer soon
-jg;- --------------------.----
The village virgin she was there
Sitting at the front
She had red roses in ber hair
And barbed wire round her cunt
19.
The village squire he was there
He wasna* there to dance
He was standing with a hard on
\7aiting for his chance
20
The village chemist he was there
Trying to sell a potion
That male your arse go up and down
In simple harmonic motion
21
The ohemista wife she was there
Sitting by the fire
Knitting contraceptives
from India rubber wire
22
When the sail was over
The villagers confessed
Although the band was bloody good
The fucking was the best.
n 12 BAYS OF MS
OK the first day of xhrh ny true love
sent to me
M? ILord Montague of Beauiieu
2» on the ftnd day of xms ray true love
sent to me
two virgin raids
And rny Xord Montague of Beauiieu
Three boy scouta
4.
four Windmill girls
5.
Five choir boyo
6.
Six sex starved spinsters
?.
aeven con iced vicars
a.
Bight pimps pursuing
»t
Kine naughty nancies
10
Ten torn off titties
11
eleven lecherous leablnna
IS.
Twelve tools -a- twitching
Tonight I feel the need for masturbation
The feeling Is good,I pulla-da-pud
Tonight I feel the need for agitation
The fueling is grand I use ray hand
You,should see me wanking on the short
stroke
I use-a-ny right hand I use-a my right
You,should see me wanking on the long
stroke
I use-s-my left hand X use-a-my left
Waky it,crank it,baah it on the floor
work it,jerk it, jam it in the door
Some people say to wank thin way is
really grand
Bat for personal satisfaction 1 would
rather useamy hand
Crash It,hash it,smash it on tho floor
work It, jerk it, trap it in the door
Sons people say that intercourse is
just, the thing to do you
good
But for personal satisfaction I would
rather pull ay pud.
Tune from 'Barber of 3avtlle».
3->- 1.YDI4 fcIHg. ""'"'
GWMJS-
Oh lets all drink a drink
To Xydia link a pink a pink
The saviour of tho hufaetn race
For she invented a mineral compound
isf f Icaceous in every case
1.
How little Willie from too awe* wanking
lie could hardly raise a stand-
raise a stand
so they gave hid a bottle of compound
Mow he comeo in either hand
2.
Mrs. Smith had a very small breastwork
0he could hardly fill heirs blouse
fill her blouse
So they gave her a bottle of coi^>ound
Jtow they nllk-her-along with the cows
3.
Jir. Jones had a bladder obstruction
He could hardly pee at all-pee at all
So they gave hiia a bottle of coapound
Now he knocks down the plashouse wall
*
37. ATX THE SARTJMQ OF MY STAYS.
$b the parting of vag stays
Jfeth bqt tits went different r/ays
raid left tap boanon bar*
wfeen you lifted up my 0&U*t
Uwigged ay knickers in t&e dirt
t. And you seduced roe there
I You stuck your tool inside roe
}■!. Yours balls swung too & fro
t ;Sutat when 1 tried to grab them
.They always sr/ang too 'lev:
Oh you dirly rotten lout
>; How you*ve $ut me Up the spout
; Are you contended now
Oh Sii» Hoge* do not touch me
* * « m » « «t
As she lay betreen the lily »/hite
sheets with nothing on at all
Oh Sir Roger Do not touch
* m • « «
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