Yes, it's been 30 years since Jim Henson gave us Labyrinth - one of the maddest, most magical, sinister films of all time, in which David Bowie played Jareth, the darkly charismatic, sexily taunting Goblin King.
The soundtrack is blinding; Jennifer Connelly's portrayal as the lead protagonist is empowering; and its motley crew of singing goblins are nothing short of terrifying. It's a film that pushes the limits of imagination, where you might have a goblin rave in your bedroom; where kindly fur giants would become your friends; where you'd nearly fall into something as gruesome as the Bog Of Eternal Stench; or dance cheek to cheek with a confusingly sexy Goblin King inside a giant bubble.
For many of us, it was our introduction to Bowie, so for that alone we're thankful.
Labyrinth is the best film ever. Here's why.
It's full of 80s Jim Henson goodness.
It completely understands our teenage selves for whom life simply wasn't fair.
Hoggle.
Dance Magic Dance #bestsongever
Go on just try to listen to this song and not smile.
We now know what happens if you go that way (you'll go straight to the castle)
We all wished our siblings has been taken away by a Goblin King and the Labyrinth made that ok.
We were introduced to Sir Didymus which forever set us unrealistic dog goals.
It actually has a powerful break up message
Bear with us. We're talking about the ending where they're on that weird crystal maze stairs bit and Sarah looks at Jareth and says with concrete confidence, "You have no power over me." It's the opposite to love - total ambivalence and the ultimate fuck you. Who doesn't want to say to real life goblins?
It was our sexual awakening
Bowie made leggings look rudely sexy and that bulge. He was an amalgamation of Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights, a Brothers Grimm fairytale and Mr Rochester from Jane Eyre all at the same time. Hot.
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The parting scene Goblin rave is just perfect
Can someone teach us how to juggle crystal balls please?
When someone tells us passively aggressively, 'not to worry it's nothing', we have the perfect response
And it goes something like this:
All our wedding aspirations are based on this film
(Imagine how cool a wedding inspired by the masked ball scene would be? How Sarah managed to realise she still had a baby brother rescue when Bowie was staring at her with that intensity, we'll never know. She's a better woman than us.)
Because of Labyrinth we will never forget that babes have the power. The power of the voodoo actually.
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There is no other film where a teenage girl brings down a rock star villain
It's so rare in film for a teenage girl to be taken seriously by an adult male nemesis. Bowie's character notes the complexities and intelligence of Sarah, and is eventually defeated by her. That's pretty groundbreaking stuff.
It led us to Bowie. And what greater gift could a film have than to introduce its viewer to one of the greatest musical geniuses of all time?
