Deny it all you like — Korfball is here.
Korfball, “the sport that is real,” first exploded onto the scene in 1902 and is showing no signs of slowing down, taking no prisoners as it Korfs itself into the hearts and minds of sport lovers worldwide.
Originally named ‘Korfbal’ the anglicised spelling was extended to ‘Korfball’ to avoid any international confusion over the meaning of the second syllable.
The International Korfball Federation, which is real, is the official governing body for the sport of Korfball, which again I must stress is also 100% real, and oversees all Korball and Korfball-related activities worldwide.
The IKF’s slogan is Spread korfball around the globe! Many in the Korfball community believe the Earth is globular in shape — much like the Korfball itself — despite overwhelming scientific evidence to the contrary.
The rules of Korfball are simple:
2 Korfball teams of 8 Korfball players enter the Korfball court. Korfball teams consist of either 4 Female Korfball players and 4 Male Korfball players, or 8 Female Korfball players.
At each end of the Korfball court there is a Korf. Korfball players score by throwing the Korfball through the opposing Korball team’s Korf. Naturally, an equally important objective is to prevent the other Korfball team from throwing the Korfball into your own Korfball team’s Korf.
Sometimes late at night, I drive up to a cliff that overlooks my home town. At the top, I consider driving off. I often fantasise about falling to my death and going out in a glorious fireball. Last week I almost did it — I came so close that the front two wheels actually went over the edge. It’s a rear-wheel drive, so I was able to reverse my way back at the last second. My wife hasn’t noticed the damage to the car yet, but I’m terrified she will — not because she’ll be mad, but because she might take away the keys.
Korfball rounds last 35 minutes, during which Korfball teams Korf as many Korfs as possible, without Korfing their own Korfs or allowing the other team to Korf. When the whistle blows, both Korfball teams commence Korfing and don’t stop Korfing until one Korfball team is completely Korfed.
At the end of the Korfball match, the Korfball team with the least Korfs is considered “Korfed” and must Korf to the other Korf’s Korf. Korf.
Well, now you know how to play Korfball! Now here comes the fun part: if you don’t tell 12 people about Korfball before midnight tonight, your crush will cut themselves and tell the police you did it. So what are you waiting for… Spread korfball around the globe!
Questions and queries? Contact office@ikf.org, which is a real email address.
