Result: Helsby 0-1 Heswall Reserves (West Cheshire League Division 3)

Venue: Helsby Community Sports Club (Saturday 26th September 2020, 3pm)

Att: 32 (hc)

Second time lucky? I certainly hoped so, as I put my plans into action to return to the Helsby Community Sports Club – current home of Helsby FC. I say current…it won’t be for too much longer. A new sports centre is being built just a few hundred yards up the road, a shiny new home for the club, although I doubt it will quite encompass the same character as their, soon to be lost, ground holds. Anyway, back to second time lucky and just what I meant by that…

Well, you see, I had previously made this trip a couple of years ago. I had been assured that a pre-season friendly was all go and there was nothing pointing towards a move of venue as I arrived into Frodsham during that very morning. I was still somewhat naïve back then, I suppose, and never thought to double check, as I happily went around touring half of the town’s pubs and bars without any thoughts of things going awry. Indeed, the only inkling I had something was wrong was when I arrived at the ground to see a game in full flow. I thought: “OK, I’ve missed a bit of the game, maybe a half-hour”. I was annoyed, but it was passable, I reckoned…but oh no, that was not the case. It was fifteen minutes into the second half and, not only that, it wasn’t even the first team game I’d planned on – that was at a school or something. Superb scenes.

I drowned my sorrows with a final drink back at the station bar before heading home on that day and, to be honest, I hoped to end the day in similar fashion. Just with a bit more luck on the football front first this time! Heading into Manchester at a little after nine in the morning, I caught the TfW service which whipped me through the Cheshire towns of Newton-le-Willows, Warrington and Runcorn, before hopping off back at the platforms of Frodsham. Round 2! This time, I’d decided I might as well visit all the pubs I didn’t do first time around; the others could wait for their time in the sun upon my eventual return for Helsby’s new home – whenever that may be. First, though, I wanted to head up Frodsham Hill and to the war memorial that towers high above the town. No pubs were open nearby, so at least I could get the pain done before the pleasure! As a footballing aside, Djibril Cissé apparently lived in Frodsham during his time at Liverpool and was known as the “Lord of the Manor of Frodsham”. However, I reckon someone’s having a bit of fun on Wikipedia with that one.

Navigating some tree-covered old steps and a number of sandstone trail mud paths, I navigated the road leading up to the car park at the top and the gates providing entry to the war memorial area. The top provides views way out around the surrounding area – with Liverpool and more all visible – as well as the neighbouring Helsby Hill, the second hill fort alongside its Frodsham-based cousin. After confirming with an older couple I could indeed follow down an “er…path” to the bottom, I allowed a roving family to come up first before navigating my way down, assessing risk as I did so – something which seems to have completely gone out the window in this country as of late. No, don’t worry, I’m not going to dwell on all the recent issues again!

Navigating my way down from the top successfully, I returned back the way I came, to see if the Maps details stating that the Ring O’Bells pub – once home to James Bond…well Daniel Craig to be exact – down near an old church in the seeming old part of Frodsham, was open. It wasn’t. A contingency plan was needed, as both this and the Bull’s Head pub both had time to go until they opened. As such, I eventually came up with a tour starting off on the main road in Frodsham, and with the Queen’s Head – where I had my first encounter with the quite nonsensical new mask rules. Granted, I’m not a mask fan at the best of times, but I get it on transport. But for ten seconds when you can just whip it off once more? I don’t understand it whatsoever! Funnily, the guy in front of me on entrance was queried about if he had the new app and informed of the mask rules. I wasn’t made to encounter either. Anywhere in the day, in fact, I was never asked about the app. They must know who I am and my thoughts on that, as it stands!

It was still manual for me all day long and I started off with a pint of Estrella (£4.60), whilst a grouping of Russians and Americans did their own bit of cold war thawing opposite, before then conversing with another table about what they were all having for breakfast. I felt quite the alcoholic, sitting there with my pint and no food forthcoming. Ah well, I suppose it’s true! Slipping on the mask for another ten seconds of pointlessness, I exited and whipped it off as I headed up to the Cheshire Cheese – the most classic drinkers pub in these parts by my reckoning! The rules were enforced here, but were relaxed with them, which was nice. However, I was thwarted in my efforts to get a pint of Moretti (I never got one all day, I was experiencing severe withdrawal symptoms by day’s end!) as it ran out as it was being poured. It must have been a busy Friday! I then got talking to a guy who arrived shortly after me and agreed that David De Gea had been beaten by a shot that hit the upright. “I fuckin’ hate Man Utd!” was his comment, in Scouse overtones. “Well, I’m a United fan!” I responded. Awks.

Not really, it’s all a bit of fun isn’t it? God help me if I ever get too serious about a business. I finished off the last of my pint of Strongbow (£2.6/70) before saying goodbye to my new mortal enemy and continuing up the road, via a brief peruse of the Castle Park, towards the Netherton Hall, another more food-based pub. Gate-crashing a meeting of two young lovers as I arrived (awks Mk.II), I opted for a pint of Manchester Craft Ale (£4.50) in the J.W. Lees-run pub – no idea why they’re out in these parts – before deciding it was time to dodge the traffic on my way up the hill road back towards the church and its neighbouring pubs. I’ve got these circuits down to a tee, I thought to myself. My arrogance would come back to bite me.

With time at a little bit of a premium, I first headed into the Bull’s Head for a bottle of Sol (£3.60). This was a bit of a mix of old, timber pub and kind of 1930’s update all rolled into one. Next door, the Ring O’Bells was quite something – a real oldie-worldie pub which I’ll definitely return too at some point, having only had a matter of minutes by the time I sat in with a bottle of Peroni. I seemed to lose ten minutes somewhere, much to my chagrin, indeed pretty much being ready to leave by the time the two ladies who were entering behind me were about to sit down. I’m barely exaggerating, either! However, the train would thwart my efforts at arriving into Helsby early on to have a look up Helsby Hill too, by departing when I thought it was due to be arriving – which saw me get to the platform to watch it pull off. The air grew blue.

And at that point, let’s have a look at both Helsby and Frodsham, and how they came to be. Helsby is a village and civil parish within Cheshire and sits upon the A56 road that runs between Chester and Runcorn. It is currently surrounded by numerous plants of different uses, including the former Shell plant (now Essar), a fertiliser plant and the Ineos Chlor station. Helsby Hill was a promontory hillfort, with habitation of the area likely dating back to the Neolithic period. The hillfort itself experienced three eras of editions, the initial Bronze Age fort being added to prior to the Roman occupation of Britain, with a final layer being constructed in the mid-to-late-500’s, suggesting that the Saxons also made use of Helsby Hill’s position. A rare public hanging took place upon the hill, William Clark meeting his fate there having been accused of robbing the Warrington Mail.

Helsby was located upon the Roman road linking Chester and Wilderspool, which allowed the garrison at Chester (Deva) to transport pottery to the wider region. This likely followed the route of the Old Chester Road at the foot of the hill and a bronze likeness of the Emperor Tiberius, dating to 22AD, was found at the top of the hill in the 1950’s. However the first known settlers of Helsby itself were the Vikings, who arrived in the 10th century and it’s likely the Danes who gave Helsby its name, possibly deriving from the Viking Hjallr-by, meaning “village on the edge”, although Old Norse points towards Hjalli, meaning edge, whilst Hjallr meant platform or scaffold. The village was recorded in the Domesdsy Book as Hellesbe, and the manor has passed through a series of aristocratic owners over the years, the latest being the Marquis of Cholmondeley.

In the 13th century, Helsby was deemed a demesne under the lordship of Dunham-on-the-hill, by a family by the name of Hellesby. It later passed to Thornton and later Frodsham, with the old hall likely dating from before the 15th century, when stonework was added, with the later 18th century brick constuction replacing the original wooden part of the hall, which had burned down. Helsby’s Mountskill Quarry gave much of its stone to Wirral and Liverpool’s docklands, and after being reduced to a tip for a while, is now a woodland park. It is now recognised as a Regionally Important Geological Site, with formations from the Triassic period being widely visible. The railways arrived in Helsby in the 1850’s and gave the village links to both Liverpool, Manchester and Chester and, further afield, Llandudno, over the proceeding years.

Frodsham, meanwhile, is a market town and civil parish in the unitary authority of Cheshire West and Chester. Historically in the ceremonial county of Cheshire, Frodsham was an important borough and port belonging to the Earls of Chester, with its St. Laurence Church being mentioned in the Domesday Book. It was originally a village, but became a town in 1992 – when the parish became the Frodsham Town Council. A market is held in the town each Thursday. Frodsham likely derives its name from the Old English Frod (a personal name or old spelling of ford) and ham, meaning “village” or dwelling”. Thus, it likely meant “Frod’s Village”, or “Village on the Ford”. An alternative, likely more truthful, name suggests “promontory onto marsh” – which would tie into Frodsham’s promontory castle being located near the local marshlands, the outline of the castle/fort, dating from the Iron Age, can still be seen upon the dominant hill overlooking the town.

It is unique in its name within the British Isles and has previously been known as “Fradsham”, “Frandsham”, “Frodisham”, “Ffradsam” and “Ffradsham”, over the years. The Frodsham caves are found within the sandstone foundations of the hill. The town is of Saxon-origin, with the aforementioned St. Laurence Church dating to the 11th century. It was an important manor of the Earls of Chester and was created a borough in the 13th century, likely by Earl Ranulf III, with the manor house sitting in what is now known as Castle Park. The manor house was also known as castellum, meaning little castle.  Waterways were important for Frodsham, with the mouth of the River Weaver, which feeds into the River Mersey, allowing for Frodsham to grow in prominence as a port, particularly for the export of salt from Northwich and Nantwich. The town was the headquarters for the Runcorn Rural District Council until 1974, when it was split between Warrington, Halton and Vale Royal. These were all downgraded over the years, with the centre at Winsford taking over from Frodsham’s Castle Park, although the police force seem to have a hold there, looking at some of the stickers on the windows!

Frodsham even gained infamy due to a Christmas Lights switch-on hoax (remember those 2020?), when the rumour that William Shatner was to flick the switch was floated widely enough to ensure “Captain Kirk” had to put the rumours to rest himself! Frodsham counts the likes of singers Gary Barlow and Alice Coote, MP Paul Marsden, composer Patrick Larley, 18th century actor Bridge Frodsham and feminist activist Harriet Short Weaver, amongst its alumni.

As it turned out, this mishap likely saved me from a wasted trip near the hill, as I’m unsure I’d have actually had the time to get up and down it and to the ground in time for kick-off, so my anger soon dissipated. Indeed, I then remembered the new ground was coming up too, so maybe it was all meant to be…though probably not. Having wasted the half-hour until the next train taking some pics around the main road, it was eventually time to return to the station, where I helped another woman operate the ticket machine successfully – another good deed done for the day. However, I wasn’t being rewarded, the five minute delay of the train meaning I wasn’t making kick-off.

Upon arriving into Helsby, a march down the road for the fifteen minute walk was needed, with the final bit from the Tesco completed via a short jog. In the end, I’d missed all of three minutes, with the scores still goalless. Jogging in jeans is never great and I was left having to do a bit of a stretch, leading to one Heswall player to say “It looks like you’re ready to come on with those stretches”. I did kind of mishear him at first, meaning my answer was nonsense – until I worked out what he’d actually said. Admonishing my brain’s speed of working, I had a quick peruse of the ground. It’s seen better days now, of course, with uncut grass surrounding most of the pitch, aside from the area under the stand – a covered area with one long bench seat running its length. A bar surrounds the pitch, though do look out for the odd hidden pile of dog muck, lurking in the long grass, and the many bottles of differing types that reside in there too. That’s the ground and this is the story of Helsby Football Club…

History Lesson:

Helsby Football Club was founded in 1895 as Helsby Town and local records show a victorious Helsby side returning to Helsby rail station after being victorious in the 1905 Liverpool County Cup final. After the British Insulated Callenders Cables (BICC) company moved into the town, the club merged with the company to become the effective company works team. Now known as Helsby BI, the club were admitted into the West Cheshire League in 1936, although their stay here would soon be truncated by the outbreak of World War II. Regardless of that, the club made hay and won silverware at the end of their first season, defeating Buckley Town in a replayed final of the Pyke Cup.

The club had a brief post-war reappearance in the West Cheshire League, being voted back into the league’s Division 1 in 1951 – though this return would last just two years prior to their resignation. Having competed elsewhere over the following two decades, including a spell in the Mid-Cheshire League in the 1960’s, Helsby BICC returned to the West Cheshire League in 1976, this time competing in Division 2. After spending three largely uneventful seasons back in the WCL system, the club moved to the South Wirral League, where they remained until the later years of the 1990’s.

Avoiding relegation in 1997 (after a second bottom finish) due to league reorganisation, the club rejoined the West Cheshire League once more in 1998, this time in the newly reformed Division 3. This would lead to something of a golden age for Helsby, as they won that year’s Division 3 title, with the West Cheshire Shield and Runcorn Senior Cup joining the divisional title in the trophy cabinet, as Helsby BICC secured a 1998-’99 seasonal treble. If this was good, then the next season would be even better; Helsby winning each and every competition they entered. The Division 2 league and cup titles were both lifted, along with the Bill Weight Memorial Trophy, a retained Runcorn Senior Cup and the Cheshire Senior Cup success rounded off a stellar year. Even the Reserves got in on the act, winning the South Wirral Challenge Cup to ensure a bursting trophy room.

At the close of that season, the club’s affiliation with the BICC company finally came to an end, with Helsby FC becoming the club’s name going forward. They secured a hat-trick of Runcorn Senior Cup titles at the end of the following year and won the Northern Counties Championship when representing the Cheshire FA. However, after experiencing defeat in the 2002 Pyke Cup final, their Division 1 status would go on to be threatened and eventually looked to be over in 2003, when a young side lost every game and ended with a goal difference of -128. However, a strange sequence of events saw Helsby keep their place in the league against all odds! However, their stay of execution was brief, and another season of struggles saw the club relegated the following year.

Back in the West Cheshire League’s Division 2, the club just avoided a second straight relegation and suffered cup disappointment in losing out to Mond Rangers in the 2005 Runcorn Senior Cup final and had the misfortune to repeat this the next year, this time at the hands of Runcorn Town – via a 120th minute winner, no less. However, they would get lucky third-time around, winning the cup’s 2007 edition with a 3-0 triumph over near rivals, Halton. But they would fall just short of a successful defence, Runcorn Town seeing them off for a second time in three years. The club were promoted to Division 1 in 2009 but seemingly took a voluntary drop to Division 3 once again in 2012, this despite a 4th placed finish in the top division. They would be promoted to Division 2 after one year in the league’s bottom division and after spending two further campaigns in the West Cheshire League’s middle-tier, the club were back in Division 1 – both promotions as runners-up.

Unfortunately, after a good start to life back in the top division saw Helsby finish up 3rd, things soon went awry somewhat and two finishes of 12th and 13th out of 16 teams seemed to kind of shroud other issues off the field. Eventually, Helsby took the decision to drop into the Chester and Wirral League in 2017, effectively taking the place of their reserve side. But things soon turned a corner and Helsby were back in the West Cheshire League once more by 2019, finishing their return year in ninth place (on points per game) in Division 3, by the time the season was curtailed by the Covid crap.

The game got going with both sides seeing an early sight of goal go begging; Heswall Reserves seeing a shot loop up harmlessly into the arms of the home goalkeeper, whilst, down the other end, the Heswall ‘keeper was also called into action – denying the Helsby #11. But it would be the visitors who would grab the opener, a clear infringement in the area gave the referee little option than to point to the spot, with Kieran Donoghue making no mistake, planting the kick beyond the Helsby stopper. 0-1.

After the visiting #7 went close from a free-kick, Helsby largely dominated the game going forward, as Heswall seemed to be happy to largely sit back on their lead. #7 saw his shot, from the angle, kept out, whilst two set-pieces failed to hit the target. I made my way around the ground, dodging the numerous shards of Desperado glasses as I went, eventually reaching the stand, where there was a multitude of old drinks bottles from players past…or at least from a few weeks ago! Anyway, #9 dragged an effort wide of the mark when he may feel he could’ve done a little better and #10 again saw a free-kick fly over the bar, before the whistle brought an end to a watchable first-half.

The second half began with the Heswall ‘keeper experiencing a water-bottle failure, when he attempted to throw the drink vassal back into his net from some 20 yards out, only for the container to plug in the six yard line, leaving the gloveman with little choice than to retrieve it, or risk being Pepe Reina’d. The referee than began to have one of a number of strange events, seemingly taking offence to one of the Helsby managers running onto the field to attempt to fix a hole in the net; I imagine due to him entering the pitch without permission, but it all seemed a bit needless.

Then there was a stonewall penalty (and I mean stonewall) that was turned down for the hosts, who were growing, to a man, more and more frustrated with both the man in the black and their finishing, the latter clearly being affected by the former. #9 hit wide of the mark once again, before the hosts did actually find the net from a corner, but the ref, on this occasion, rightly ruled out the “goal” for an infringement on the ‘keeper (I think that was what it was for, anyway…that’s what I saw!). #9 then latched onto an “arse-down” following a free-kick, but once again his radar was off, the ball ending up in the undergrowth behind the net, with his ‘keeper less than impressed with the quality of finishing down the other end.

Heswall continued to soak up the pressure fairly well, #9 again being spurned in his efforts to find the net by a combination of good ‘keeping and offputting defending, whilst the ‘keeper did a good job of wiling away the seconds, where he could. He pushed his luck a few times though, it has to be said! Anyway, as time was running out quickly upon the hosts, and the ref continued to give some strange decisions (including one indirect free-kick which one sub was incredulous about, believing the award of the kick in the situation it arose to “not be in the rules anymore”, before #4 saw his shot well stopped by the visiting custodian, who deserved a clean sheet, having dealt with everything he had to. The icing was put on the cake late on, as he booked the Helsby right-back for swearing saying “you can’t swear like that, there’s ladies in attendance!”. I’m not sure which part some would be more upset about out – the swearing, or being referred to as “ladies”! Either way, full-time arrived with the score remaining 0-1.

Post-match, I beat a swift exit around the tennis courts and strange pavilion building that resembles a railway points box, and back out onto the main road, this time taking a right turn to a roundabout named “Helsby Arms”. No pub by that name exists now, although the Hornsmill certainly does. Again, another food centric pub, the guy taking details and what have you squeezed me in on a table with an hour’s window, which was more than enough time to sit in, get my pint of Amstel, settle my debts, and finish up. Next up on the cards, having backtracked station-wards, was the Railway Inn, where I recognised one or two Helsby players as they were exiting, whilst an Upton AAA tracksuit or two was also on show. I guessed the rivals fight had finished(!). A pint of Heineken (£4.10) did the job here, whilst those in the pub watched West Brom storm into a three-goal lead before half-time against Chelsea. The Baggies would somehow fail to see the game out in the second 45…

My final stop of the day was back at Helsby station itself – where the brilliant Beer Heroes micropub is located within the station building. After kind of getting lost whilst trying to find the way in, and saving a couple of arriving ladies from a similar fate, we eventually popped around to the platform and the door in use. Upon entering the bar area, a quick check of the blackboard revealed a decent choice; I eventually settled on a Left-Handed Giant (I’m neither for the record) Hazy Pale Ale (£4.30). I had to sit outside though, with the couple of tables indoors all booked up. Not a problem though and I enjoyed my pint in peace whilst listening out for the sound of passing trains the other side of the station house.

Eventually, it was time for me to head off for my train too, and after leaving my glass at the designated area, I popped up and over the footbridge before departing back towards Manchester, where I arrived just after a connection had left, although this wasn’t ever truly on the cards without a delay on its part. Knowing Northern, though, there’s always hope in this regard! A 25 minute wait followed before I could eventually set off homewards, although this train was more of an express, so I suppose I eventually got a bit of a repayment for my dues earlier in the day. My wallet was also a little bit heavier than expected too upon my return home, so I couldn’t complain too much! 😉

So endeth my second attempt at the Helsby Community Sports Club and, thankfully, all went smoothly this time. Even Covid couldn’t stop me getting there. The ground, as I said earlier, has seen better days and is clearly not being quite as upkept as it may have been in the past, with the imminent move on the horizon. However, it does have a nice feel to it, so it will definitely be a shame to see it go; get there while you can! The game was alright I suppose, with the ref’s…erm, interesting performance, providing extra entertainment and a few chuckles along the way. Heswall’s second string came and did a job on their previously high-scoring hosts, who could’ve played for hours and likely never scored. It was just one of those days for them. No food or programmes on the go, unsurprisingly. Onto next week and the FA Cup, with “elite” fans not allowed in, as the coronavirus gets ever more smarter and selective. If only I had the brains of this thing, I’d be a millionaire…

RATINGS:

Game: 5

Ground: 5

Food: N/A

Programme: N/A

Value For Money: 6